Is it normal i'm constantly thinking of a life where i can be happy?

Every single day and night I think to myself deeply what life would be like if I was happy and I could be a completely different person. I hate myself irl and I often get depressed so this is something I do all the time. I play out a life where I'm happy and have more freedom.

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It took me a long time to realize I just have to accept myself and be myself. Bettering yourself is good but if you dream of being a certain way you wont be able to fit those shoes. You probably wont ever be loved by everyone and be the perfect personality. Just be you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I do that too, as I go to sleep at night I imagine a life where I’m the ideal version of myself and I have the life I want but I set mine about 10 years in future so I can see it as a goal to strive for rather than an impossible alternate reality

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • You just got to find what makes you happy and stop letting shortcomings completely dictate the rest of your life things happen to everyone and if you just let them roll over you and blame everything on being miserable you're just weak

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I used to do something similar several years ago. I would daydream a lot and wish to escape my life.

    What things would you like to change in your life in order to achieve what you want out of it? Assess those, and think about which of those are in your control. One of the things it took me entirely too long to finally figure out is that most people have much more control over their lives than they realize. With any of the things in your life you think could be changed for the better, start setting some long term goals and making plans to work towards them. Yes, it may take time and hard work, but it will be worth it in the end.

    Even if you're not religious, there's something called the "Serenity Prayer" that I think holds a valuable message. "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." While there will always be things that are out of our control in life, there are also so many things we do have control over and can make the best out of.

    I know that this sounds very cliché and I used to roll my eyes whenever my parents would tell me this, but happiness really does come from within and stems from gratitude. I know it's easy to think there's not much to be thankful for in life, but being able to truly count your blessings in life really does help a lot. This has also taken me entirely too long to learn. I have realized recently how much I have always taken for granted, especially after watching some people I know personally struggle with things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

    I also think that it's necessary to unlearn the thought that happiness is somewhere else or only achieved by miraculously erasing all of your problems. You will always have problems, whether big or small, at any time in your life. You just have to find a way to 1) not allow them to rule you and instead find a way to either cope if you can't change them, or to change them if you can, and 2) not lose sight of the good things in your life. I do believe that we create most of our luck and happiness, and that your outlook on life and attitude has a lot to do with it. This is also coming from someone who formerly thought this was all BS.

    Less than 10 years ago, I was suicidal, hated life and myself and dreaded my future, did not care at all what happened to me and was constantly wishing I would die, and felt like everything in my life was out of my control. If I would've read anything I just wrote back then, I would've rolled my eyes and thought it was a load of crap. But, I found out otherwise over time. A lot of it was from hard lessons that forced me to grow.

    I know changing your outlook and attitude is extremely hard and is definitely not something that is done overnight. Also, if you suffer from a depression disorder, this may not be attainable without professional help.

    Therapy might also be something you'd like to consider if depression and wanting to escape reality is a common thing for you. It helps some, not so much others, but might be worth a try.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • I sometimes imagine a utopic land.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • If I didn’t have so many kids, I would’ve walked into traffic by now. Or just moved to Mexico. I’ve tried to be a different person but nothing ever changes.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
  • Antidepressants?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • Those (along with anti-anxiety meds) actually caused me to become depressed, emotionally numb, and suicidal. They're definitely something that can go one way or the other depending on the person. Then again, I was also misdiagnosed, but I fear there are quite a few others out there that are as well and don't know it until years later like me. Then there's the fact that antidepressants just don't work for everyone regardless of whether they actually suffer from depression or not, and can actually make things worse for certain people.

      Not that they can't be beneficial for certain people as well of course, but they're not the one-size-fits-all cure a lot of people seem to think they are, and I wish people were more aware that they need to proceed with caution with these.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • Antidepressants actually work for only about 50 percent of the patients, the other 50 percent are non responders. When antidepressants are coupled with therapy, the percentage of responders increase significantly further.
        Solo antidepressant therapy is dangerous for people with bipolar disorder, antidepressants very often provoke mania and dysphoric mania in that group.
        What is ur diagnosis if you dont mind my asking?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
          -
        • I was in therapy as well, but I really don't think any of the so-called "professionals" other than one that I worked with really cared much about anything other than getting paid, unfortunately.

          I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, depression, and anxiety at around 12-13, and it was found later that I had none of those things (other than the normal amounts of feeling down and anxious feelings that teens get) and it was growing pains, lol. The big thing that got me into the situation to be diagnosed with that in the first place was that I was becoming self conscious and insecure (I think that's pretty much a requirement of puberty, TBH), had a hard time adapting to some life changes, and apparently couldn't read facial expressions perfectly, though I think I can actually pick up on them better than average now. Just at 12-13 years old, most kids are naive to that sort of thing and are more oblivious than a grown adult, you know? I was also a high energy kid (not poorly behaved, just had a lot of energy) and mostly a loner who never took much interest in the stuff the other kids did and mostly went off on my own and did my own thing, which my teachers and these therapists thought was weird, but it runs in the family!

          Comment Hidden ( show )
Add A Comment