Is it normal i'm afraid to break up with my boyfriend?

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19 Comments

I'm really scared to break up with him. For many reasons, like, I know he'll never talk to me again and the thought of never being able to see him hurts me... since I do value him as a friend, but I'm also afraid for my safety

He's highly intelligent, not a bad guy, and never hurt me. But I always see on the news people breaking up and getting killed for it. I know he would.never hurt me but what if I'm wrong?

He has access to many, many, firearms. I know he'd never hurt me but I'm paranoid, what if he tried to hurt me or my family? There's nothing I could do about it.

For this reason, I've been hoping he would break up with me. I know I can be highly paranoid but it's a huge risk I don't want to take. I've been trying to distance myself from him, for a long time. I just don't know if he's ever been the one to have been broken up with , I've only ever seen him angry once, I don't know what to do. Sometimes people snap, but if I've only ever seen him angry once then maybe he's not the type to snap, right?

is it normal to be this afraid? Am I just being a dumb paranoid person?

Sorry for being dumb.

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Based on 10 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 19 )
  • DIO
    4 years ago

    In most cases, people don't go and kill each other because they break up. There's nothing to worry about if he wasn't a violent and jealous person in the first place.
    You're overcomplicating things.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I know, MOST cases. But what about when people get hurt by their S/O critically and they always say "s/he was so sweet, they never seemed like the type to do something like this"

      I read a story where this man tried to stab his wife in the throat but missed and he was apparently totally normal and they never had any issues before that

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      • DIO
        4 years ago

        You can get hit by a car, struck by lightning, crushed by a meteoroid, killed by a psychopath, slip on ice, be attacked by a dog etc. Everything is possible. Do this prevent you from going outside ?
        Now it seems like you're just looking for an excuse not to break up with him.

        Stop being stupid.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          4 years ago

          Lol, I appreciate the honesty but you're not exactly helping. You should learn how to talk to people better and be more understanding.

          Thanks anyways, but because of your attitude I can't really take anything you say seriously.

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          • DIO
            4 years ago

            You said it yourself: "Sorry for being dumb". I don't really think that you are dumb or stupid, but you are acting in a stupid way. Sugar-coating what I'm saying is NOT going to help you.
            You're afraid of something that you have no way to know if it will happen or not. That's not living. Stay in the present moment. Not in some hypothetical twisted future that doesn't exist. Or else it's just not living altogether, because you won't be able to predict the future at any point in your life.

            I give you a way to overcome your problem and to stop being afraid. You can chose to use it or not.

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          • Isuckdickdaily69
            4 years ago

            DIO is just trying to help you. Don't act like an asshole towards them.

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          • palehorse
            4 years ago

            DIO's not the one with a problem here.

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  • Clunk42
    4 years ago

    Why do you want to break up with him in the first place?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I'm not in love with him anymore

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      • Clunk42
        4 years ago

        What does that mean, exactly?

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  • BlondeRedhead
    4 years ago

    If you're worried about him physically harming you, it's a pretty good indicator that you NEED to break up with him - that he's somehow suggested that you should be afraid of him. This is a also a strong indicator that he will become abusive, mentally if not physically.

    Good luck - I hope you succeed in leaving him soon. Stay safe, lady.

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  • Iszzy123
    4 years ago

    Just tell him you can break up now or devioce later

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  • ellnell
    4 years ago

    I broke up with my ex because I wasn't attracted to him anymore. No reason really, I just wasn't. He was very hurt of course but it only took a month then he wanted to remain friends and we did. He had some issues, was on meds that he wasn't good at taking etc. but he never did anything hurtful to me so if your bf has absolutely no issues then it's even less likely that he will hurt you just saying. And you can't go around staying in relationships that don't make you happy for this reason. Don't think about that even because we do tend to attract what we think a lot about especially if we fear it. It sounds mostly like you don't trust him. I wouldn't exactly go around worrying that someone is gonna hurt me if I trusted and cared about them.

    You might also want to talk to someone about the possibility of suffering from an anxiety disorder. That includes paranoia.

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  • formerAbuserMaybe
    4 years ago

    How does he take rejection or denied something? How are you trying to distance yourself? It might just backfire and make him feel like you are playing with him or something.

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  • thepeepeepoopooman
    4 years ago

    Not dumb but a bit paranoid yes, sounds more like anxiety though. You should probably talk to a counselor or something about that. Lots of people have access to firearms and can get angry but you shouldn't live your life in fear over 'what if's

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  • RoseIsabella
    4 years ago

    Hmm... the fact that you are afraid of him freaking out has me concerned. I think you need to come up with an escape plan. Is there any reason why you are so concerned? You said you've only seen him angry once before. What was he like when he was angry?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      I guess it's also, that I've never seen him freak out I'm wondering if he does and I don't know what to expect

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      It honestly wasn't bad. It wasn't even anger directed at me, he just went really quiet.

      He just isn't very vocal about his emotions, in general. It's hard for me to tell how he's feeling and what he's thinking, and I'm usually very good at reading people emotionally. I think it's just my unfamiliarities with how he is that has me scared.

      And honestly, in his defense it's nothing he's said or done to me to have me afraid. The only thing he's "done" is own a lot of guns

      I'm openly admitting I'm paranoid and scared so I'm.doinf my best to be as unbiased as possible ,

      thanks for your comment!

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      • RoseIsabella
        4 years ago

        You're welcome. Please be careful!

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