I think you have misunderstood what submission is. Submission isn't about letting just anyone tell you what to do. Submission is when you freely give some control and responsibility to someone else because you trust them. Submissives have a right to say no to things they aren't comfortable with. When submission isn't freely given, or if consent is violated, that is when we have abuse.
You have also profoundly misunderstood what victim-blaming is. You ARE victim-blaming. Saying that you don't always blame victims is irrelevant. People have a right to be vulnerable and safe. That includes put themselves in submissive positions. People who take advantage of their vulnerability and hurt them are 100% to blame.
Im not focusing this topic on silly sex games. Im more talking about people who let others get out of control and fail to stand up to them.
In a perfect world everyone could be safe, but it is obvious humans have free will to do what they want, therefore the only rational conclusion is that no one is safe if they let their guard down. Some crimes are random and not much could be done to prevent it, but when someone lets something happen that was obvious, it is their fault. I do not make exception for myself either. There have been times I have been taken advantage of and looking back I should not have let my guard down, but we all live and learn.
In cases when people do not stand up for others it is their fault because it is everyones responsibility to show courage when necessary. To know something is wrong and to do nothing is no different than to commit the act itself. To stand back when something is wrong I find the worst thing someone can do, because no loyalty is ever expected from those who are out to hurt others, but loyalty was expected from the coward and they let down who they were meant to protect.
I think the pertinent point is that abusers are not passive forces of nature. Abusers are people who make active choices. That is to say that vulnerable people do not force abusers to do what they do. They don't INVITE abusers to do what they do. They might allow abusers the opportunity, but abusers TAKE the opportunity.
What I object to most is your assertion that "when someone lets something happen that was obvious, it is their fault". My central point of defence is that "expectations" and "obviousness" are just not relevant. People have a right to not be violated. Living your life naively doesn't make it your fault when people take advantage of that.
Even if you don't accept any of my points, I would advise you to at least own the fact that you are victim-blaming. If you own it, you can begin to get educated about it (if you want to) by people who are better at explaining than me.
I can see I am victim blaming under certain situations, such as if I left my garage open and it got robbed I would understand it was my own fault.
The fact is there are people with bad intents and they are everywhere. To let your guard down is stupid and someone may as well burn their own house down if they cannot take action to be responsible for their own well being.
By not accepting that many people are out to take advantage of others is to set up for defeat.
It's not that simple. Sometimes people you care about just grab a hold of you. Before you know it your doing everything they say. You don't know why, and you don't know how to get out. You just have to hope that they'll see the error of their ways, or someone will come and help you. Speaking from experience.
To hope someone will change is one of the dumbest things someone can do. So is doing everything someone says. I do not understand why some people are so needy for others that they will allow someone to use them. It is everyone's responsibility to watch out for themselves.
IIN I look down on submissive behavior.
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I think you have misunderstood what submission is. Submission isn't about letting just anyone tell you what to do. Submission is when you freely give some control and responsibility to someone else because you trust them. Submissives have a right to say no to things they aren't comfortable with. When submission isn't freely given, or if consent is violated, that is when we have abuse.
You have also profoundly misunderstood what victim-blaming is. You ARE victim-blaming. Saying that you don't always blame victims is irrelevant. People have a right to be vulnerable and safe. That includes put themselves in submissive positions. People who take advantage of their vulnerability and hurt them are 100% to blame.
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dirtybirdy
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[Old Memory]
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iwannajerk4you
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Aries
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This amused me to see DOM on the Sub post. Bahahaha.
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Aries
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right? LOL
Im not focusing this topic on silly sex games. Im more talking about people who let others get out of control and fail to stand up to them.
In a perfect world everyone could be safe, but it is obvious humans have free will to do what they want, therefore the only rational conclusion is that no one is safe if they let their guard down. Some crimes are random and not much could be done to prevent it, but when someone lets something happen that was obvious, it is their fault. I do not make exception for myself either. There have been times I have been taken advantage of and looking back I should not have let my guard down, but we all live and learn.
In cases when people do not stand up for others it is their fault because it is everyones responsibility to show courage when necessary. To know something is wrong and to do nothing is no different than to commit the act itself. To stand back when something is wrong I find the worst thing someone can do, because no loyalty is ever expected from those who are out to hurt others, but loyalty was expected from the coward and they let down who they were meant to protect.
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dom180
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Arm0se
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I think the pertinent point is that abusers are not passive forces of nature. Abusers are people who make active choices. That is to say that vulnerable people do not force abusers to do what they do. They don't INVITE abusers to do what they do. They might allow abusers the opportunity, but abusers TAKE the opportunity.
What I object to most is your assertion that "when someone lets something happen that was obvious, it is their fault". My central point of defence is that "expectations" and "obviousness" are just not relevant. People have a right to not be violated. Living your life naively doesn't make it your fault when people take advantage of that.
Even if you don't accept any of my points, I would advise you to at least own the fact that you are victim-blaming. If you own it, you can begin to get educated about it (if you want to) by people who are better at explaining than me.
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[Old Memory]
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I can see I am victim blaming under certain situations, such as if I left my garage open and it got robbed I would understand it was my own fault.
The fact is there are people with bad intents and they are everywhere. To let your guard down is stupid and someone may as well burn their own house down if they cannot take action to be responsible for their own well being.
By not accepting that many people are out to take advantage of others is to set up for defeat.
It's not that simple. Sometimes people you care about just grab a hold of you. Before you know it your doing everything they say. You don't know why, and you don't know how to get out. You just have to hope that they'll see the error of their ways, or someone will come and help you. Speaking from experience.
--
[Old Memory]
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To hope someone will change is one of the dumbest things someone can do. So is doing everything someone says. I do not understand why some people are so needy for others that they will allow someone to use them. It is everyone's responsibility to watch out for themselves.
Are you a female dominatrix dom180
If so I'd love to hear from you @yahoo.com
I couldn't have said it better myself , thank you .