I am also a girl with autism (actually diagnosed with Asperger since kindergarten), but my experience isn't nearly as bad as yours (although I did often wish I didn't have it as a kid). I think you suffer because you didn't get the help and understanding you need growing up, while just being discriminated instead. Special ed is not a threat, it can sometimes be for the better, especially in subjects where you struggle. And as you get older you may get more able to work independent naturally (and partially by being taught). If you want to be better with social skills, simply partaking in conversations will gradually make you better, but it may not go all the way it would for a non-autistic person. I hope you get better. Its the adults that messed up.
IIN I hate being autistic
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I am also a girl with autism (actually diagnosed with Asperger since kindergarten), but my experience isn't nearly as bad as yours (although I did often wish I didn't have it as a kid). I think you suffer because you didn't get the help and understanding you need growing up, while just being discriminated instead. Special ed is not a threat, it can sometimes be for the better, especially in subjects where you struggle. And as you get older you may get more able to work independent naturally (and partially by being taught). If you want to be better with social skills, simply partaking in conversations will gradually make you better, but it may not go all the way it would for a non-autistic person. I hope you get better. Its the adults that messed up.