Is it normal i feel confused about my gender

I don't know how to explain this, this is really hard for me. I kinda feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body.

It all started early in my childhood, probably when i was at about 9 or 10 years, when i found interest in wearing girl's shoes, later even my mom's and sister's shoes. That went on for a few years until my sister moved out to study in another town. That is when i kinda grew into her size (she is 10 years older than me if thats relevant) and started taking her clothes und underwear to wear them when i was home alone. As i grew into puberty i also started rethinking my "imaginary" bust size, making it look bigger by using push-ups and other stuff to fill out the bra, usually socks, also still wearing her shoes, that was if they still fit me.

It actually even went that far that i stole underwear from girls around my age. I remember stealing from my step-sister, my best friend's sister and i also took a sneak-peak into the underwear closet of my neighbours daughter (still same age). Last one also asked me to watch their pets one day while they were gone for that afternoon. That day i didn't even had the urge to do anything, no crossdressing, no masturbating, not even looking into her closet. I was just watching their pets.

Generally i enjoyed wearing girl's clothes and walking around the house in high-heeled shoes, it was a real turn-on for me, rarely i even masturbated while wearing them.

Something that i hadn't done in a long time just happened to me a short while ago: While showering, i catched myself hiding my dick between my legs, so i kinda looked like not having one or like a girl.
That event was reason enough for me to start looking for advice.

This is really bugging me. I thought about it and it might also just be a weird crossdressing fetish, although i don't really believe that as i sometimes even think about how my life would be if i were female, this - in my oppinion - is not normal at all.
Please help me, give me some advice...

I apologize for any grammatical or spelling errors, english is not my native language.