Is it normal i feel betrayed?
Romantic friendship with a colleague. She appears to have gone off me after having called me her friend, told me she loved me, that I could call her any time, encouraged me to confide in her about anything, came after me to 'rescue' me every time the slightest thing went wrong, kissed my cheek randomly, or blew me kisses, often touched my arm and my hand and hugged me... she offered me little presents, texted me... found pretexts to be where I was...
Now she flat out ignores my messages or responds in just a few non-concomitant words and almost every time I try and talk to her, the response is 'I'm busy'. She neither greets me nor says goodbye to me when she sees me at work; I am always the one who goes to her. She does not hug me any more. When I hug her I feel bad because I almost feel like I'm 'stealing' the hug from her, even though she would be far too polite to object. When I initiate she hugs me limply now; it's not tight or heartfelt like it used to be. She keeps reassuring me that we will hang out together at some point and then is 'too busy'. All of the intimacy is gone and I feel like I am having to chase her.
I already have irrational fears about being rejected by those I love but the writing is pretty much on the wall here.
I feel so betrayed. I never said 'I love you' to her, but she said that to me. I never called her my friend and she called me her friend, twice. She kept drawing gratuitously intimate stories and vulnerable emotions out of me in the guise of helping me organize my work, when she was appointed by our boss to mentor me and it was added to her job description. She did quotation marks with her fingers when talking about the mentoring sessions, as if we both knew it was just a pretext to spend more time alone together having emotionally intimate conversations. Right before every session, she would dash off telling me she was 'just going to brush her teeth' and then we would go in search of a room... she would hesitate and exclaim, 'Oh, but if we go here there is a chance someone will *walk in* on us. Let's go in here instead - and lock the door.'She didn't have to do that. Not when I was vulnerable to her, and she knew I was single and lonely in a foreign country, and suffering from depression, and she was married and settled, with four kids.
I just feel so betrayed. I wouldn't have cared about her if she hadn't made me care. Is it normal to feel betrayed? I flirted with her too - of course I did, I liked her; I loved her and I still do. But was she wrong to act like that around me? Is this horrible feeling of betrayal just another symptom of my messed-up head or would a normal person feel this way too?