Is it normal i feel bad about winning/succeeding
I’ve always been happy about being kind to others, I think it’s very important and a huge part of why I’m here in this life!
But I don’t think it’s fair that my kindness is rewarded with failure, or encouraged by guilt...
I work so hard to encourage others, ever since school it was a journey of hiding my good grades from my struggling friend, or giving my yearbook away to the kid who couldn’t afford one.
I know even now it sounds like I’m trying to show myself as some righteous over achiever who sees others as delicate charities, I feel guilty even talking this. I was never competitive, and always a giver. And honestly? I’m a huge pushover. I let people take advantage of me way too often.
I’ve missed opportunities, lost money, given away things that meant so much to me. I wish I didn’t have to feel so shitty anytime I do something for myself every now and then.