Is it normal i dumped her for bringing her culture with her?

Dutch dude here, early 30’s. I signed myself up on Match and got matched with what could had been the most beautiful primadonna in Russia. I tried to not be judgemental about her origins, but hot damn was her attitude around money utter garbage.

Most dutch girls I go out with offer to go dutch. Since I’m a pleasant dude, I usually tell them that the first time is on me and the second can be on them if they offer to split. That way, the girl can sample me the first time around and there’s no loss for her if she doesn’t invite me out for a 2nd date. Usually I pay up anyway on the first 5 dates, just the gesture is nice. This Russian though: she doesn’t even bring a wallet with her and she has expensive taste which was the first warning sign that I saw.

This resulted in me conducting a deeper investigation in which I found:
* Always give Russian girls flowers on dates in uneven numbers. Even numbers are for funerals.
* Russian girls are never expected to go dutch on dates. Fine, it’s a part of their culture so I’ll just go with it.
* more yadda yadda
* Now the big one: Whatever the husband earns is his and hers and whatever she earns is hers. <- Hell no that I’m agreeing to this.

On the 5th date, I casually asked about Russian culture and she started by saying that people are more money focused and that the guy is expected to pay for everything in the household. I explained to her that we Dutch people work towards a common goal and that equality in the household is the norm including chores, raising kids, economics etc. even our government support this by mothers being entitled to 100% of their salaries while on maternity leave. She didn’t agree and said that unless we can split pregnancy too, then all I earn is hers and mine and all she earns is hers. “This is what I expect of a man”.

I went home, thought hard about it and decided that if she wants to bring her culture with her, then I’m not in for the ride. Out of respect, I invited her out for a 6th date, took her to a restaurant for a last treat and told her that this is the end of the line for me and that I wish her all the best. At least I told her face to face rather than dumping over a text.

Anyways, how would you feel?

Voting Results
63% Normal
Based on 8 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Clunk42

    I find the statement about women having their own money very ironic. Communism has been very influential in Russia, but women keeping the money they make from their husbands is very un-Communist. The Russian Orthodox church is also very influential in Russia, but I doubt that's a teaching of theirs' (and if it is, it's a very anti-Christian belief). It seems to me that that belief is very much anti-Russian.

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    • Very true! I think a lot if this has to do with a culture where men and women aren’t seen as equals, which leads to a culture where the woman is supposed to depend on the man. In today’s society, it’s a very dated mindset, but it’s likely the reason to this strange behavior.

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      • Clunk42

        The woman is supposed to depend on the man, but that is clearly not where that belief came from. The Catholic Church, for example, has taught that it is the man's job to take care of the woman, but they also taught that the man and woman should share everything they own between them, since they "become one flesh".

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  • KholatKhult

    Stay in yo lane Dutchy

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  • newnormal

    Russian women are hott

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  • RoseIsabella

    I'm an American woman, and I have never had a guy ask me to go Dutch in my life.

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    • Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely don’t mind paying for the dates. What I do mind is the “whatever you earn is yours and mine, whatever I earn is mine” mindset. We’re not working towards equality or a common goal in such a household.

      I would go with “whatever you earn is yours and whatever I earn is mine”
      or
      “Whatever we had before is individual and whatever we earn after is shared”
      Or
      “We share everything”
      But not
      “Whatever you earn is yours and mine, whatever I earn is mine”.

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      • RoseIsabella

        I see what you're saying. Regardless, I certainly don't think she was the one for you so I think you were smart to break up with her. There's no sense in wasting time with the wrong person.

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  • Yaidin

    Why would you switch from Dutch girls to Russian girls? Are you going to get your next one from Ali Baba?

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    • She looked dutch while swiping so I had no clue where she came from until later on. I knew she was a foreigner after the first sentence because she asked me to switch to English.

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Russian girls dont come from a beta male society like most places in the west. They know their place. They dont try to be men.

    BUT I wouldnt agree with her keeping all her money for herself. If a girl is with me she doesnt have to work but if she wants to work then that money is for both of us. Letting her keep all her money is getting cucked. Id worry about her leaving me because she seems just to be using me. If thats the case she better literally look like a super model. I also dont like when women have expensive tastes.

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    • Right on man, right on. Getting cucked is indeed an accurate description. 👍

      I share your views on that if one stays at home, focus on kids and the household, while the other works, it’s fine. On the other hand, splitting everything in the household while keeping everything to herself while she too is working isn’t working towards a common goal. One is cucking and the other is getting cucked.

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        If you make that arrangement she needs to be some sick arm candy atleast.

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        • Even if she was the most beautiful lady in Moskva, I wouldn’t accept getting cucked. 😝

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