Is it normal i don't want to be a mother anymore.

Go to Cali, just don't go crazy. Don't run away, walk away.
It's not normal to actually run away without a trace and never come back. But to take off for vacation or just freak out and stay at a hotel for the night....might be good for you. And them. I hate my 18 yr old daughter, there I said it. Wow... anyway, She punched me causing permanent eye damage and has been moved out since then. The point is I spent the night at a friends house just for fun and my other kids called me to say that she was threatening them and had not fed the infant. My anger for one was affecting my love for the others. I love them. I love them more since she's gone.

I have heard this story from so many mothers with teens - so I would say you are totally normal, and dont feel guilty :)

That is terrible what your ex did...:( how awful for you ! I have primary aged kids and feel like walking the hell out on some days... Teenagers? I say just do it. Be free..;)

I think you need to consider the future as much as you are considering the present. Are you willing to abandon any chance of a healthier relationship with your teenagers when they grow into adults? Because if you leave, they will feel abandoned and resent you for a long, long time. Chances are pretty darn good that they will think: "My mother left when I needed her most" rather than "I was a shitty kid, no wonder she couldn't deal." Right now you feel like crap, like you are a doormat, but how will you feel ten years from now when your kids refuse to have contact with you? I'd recommend dealing with what is happening right here and now rather than running away. Honestly, if you are willing to cut all ties and never see them again I find it hard to believe that you were ever very emotionally invested.

And even if your children did not witness the abuse, they are still affected. How, I don't know. But it is clearly a sign of dysfunction.

I also wonder how old they are. 18? 13? That makes a big difference as well. Who will take them? They are YOUR kids; you have a responsibility to them. But I can imagine your fatigue and desire to run. You need help, whether through grandparents, family friends, school counselor, a therapist, etc. I hope things work out for the best for your family.

I totally understand you. I wanted to pack my things and leave also when my kids were teens. Ungrateful things. They are adults now and just last week my adult 20 something daughter said she has the most awsome parents. It felt like a grand upswing for me. My heart smiled. It was all worth it.

I hope things get better for you. Teens can say and do horrible things.

tell your kids this...but hand them knives first

A trans kid? You fucked up, huh?

maybe you should go

i dont know how old these teens are but if they are young, dont go and leave the job unfinished. you are so nearly there to say you brought them up to be independant people. tell them yr plans

Being a teenager myself i can truly say to you that yes we do get annoying and dont listen but that doesnt mean we dont love and and respect our parents my mom walked out on me a few years ago i live with my dad now but i will always carry around this feeling i have that she doesnt love me or it is all my fault but i dont blame her i love she is mother without her i wouldnt be here we dont talk much but when we do i tell her how much i love her and how sorry i am and how much i love her for everything she has done for me and my siblings but please dont just abandon your kids cause the truth is the do love you and im very srry to hear avout what that guy did to u i hope ur ok

Wow I was shocked by the title of this story, but after reading it I totally understand why you feel the way you do. I'd definitely leave if I were you. For your sanity.

you may want to consider talking to a therapist.

first of all if you are in an abusive relationship his attitude towards you may be rubbing off on the kids...

but more importantly the therapist may be able to show you what you can do to break free from any unhealthy situations you've been finding yourself in. Perhaps even advice on why the children act the way they do and what you can do - or not do - in order to regain a healthy life.

and specifically for child-attitude issues I also recommend you look up "John Rosemond". He's a child psychologist ... but more importantly my own mother recommends him. She's had kids, she knows what they can be like....

I'm sure we all feel like this sometimes. It depends on how old your two teenagers are. Why don't you just down tools for a while and let them fend for thmeselves - then they'd see how much you do for them! At least, when you do leave they know how to do laundry, cook, clean, budget, get public transport, etc.

They've forgotten that you're a person too and you've sacrificed your life for them. It's soon time to get yourself a life before your life is over.

Please press charges against your ex regardless of what your two teenagers think.

Maybe I'll find a good therapist in California! For the record, the kids never witnessed the abuse. I am done with him for good. The police pressed charges. And I will testify. As for, the kids, I'll telephone them periodically from my beachside apartment to see how they're doing. I love them. Don't really like them right now...But, I'm tired of being there doormat.

your a shit person