Hello m8, i recently went through a pretty rough patch of deep depression caused what i believed to be anxiety from a psychotic episode that was drug related. To preface, i never do drugs, my friend offered me weed and i accepted as i had done it a few times before and enjoyed the results but the strand he had was very strong and stepped on, long story short it gave me a mild but horrifying trip of psychosis that lasted several days. The weird thoughts I had during this event lingered for so long that it made it hard to go out and do anything upon doing that I became a shut-in and lost sight one anything important or why anything mattered. Then i realized that the very reason i was scared or questioning these feelings is the reason i knew deep down i cared about my life, same as you. There is light in there youre just on a journey to find it. I went to the doctor and also found that my vitamin levels had also been screwed up which had caused my thinking to become skewed. I would suggest making sure everything is right physically before working on yourself mentally. After that, the answers will start to clear up. Everyone has to go through a little mental questioning to fully appreciate life because it truly is a beautiful thing. Keep fighting and searching man, the answers always come to those who wait.
IIN I can see myself commiting suicide in the future?
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Hello m8, i recently went through a pretty rough patch of deep depression caused what i believed to be anxiety from a psychotic episode that was drug related. To preface, i never do drugs, my friend offered me weed and i accepted as i had done it a few times before and enjoyed the results but the strand he had was very strong and stepped on, long story short it gave me a mild but horrifying trip of psychosis that lasted several days. The weird thoughts I had during this event lingered for so long that it made it hard to go out and do anything upon doing that I became a shut-in and lost sight one anything important or why anything mattered. Then i realized that the very reason i was scared or questioning these feelings is the reason i knew deep down i cared about my life, same as you. There is light in there youre just on a journey to find it. I went to the doctor and also found that my vitamin levels had also been screwed up which had caused my thinking to become skewed. I would suggest making sure everything is right physically before working on yourself mentally. After that, the answers will start to clear up. Everyone has to go through a little mental questioning to fully appreciate life because it truly is a beautiful thing. Keep fighting and searching man, the answers always come to those who wait.