Is it normal i’m worried about my grandma moving in?

To make a long story short: my grandpa died a few months ago, and my grandma will move in with us real soon. She’s bringing my grandpa’s ashes, which I find deeply disturbing. My mom says she’ll probably just stay in her room and watch tv all day, but I worry she’ll have it up really loud and we’ll have to talk really loud around her. And I’ll probably sound like a heartless bastard for saying this, but I’m annoyed that my mom is worrying so much about my grandma, who’s 85 and most likely only has a few years left, and doesn’t seem to prioritize me at all, her 19 year old son who has a whole future ahead of him, and still hasn’t gone to college yet. Literally every time I bring up any concerns I have she just complains about all the other crap she has to deal with and says she doesn’t want to think about it. It also sucks that my two older sisters still live here, now I’ll be the only boy in a house with four females, three of them already never stfu! And the only time I ever ultimately feel at peace is when I’m home alone, and I worry I’ll never be able to be home alone again, at least as long as my grandma is still alive. I know I probably just seem like a complainer here, and maybe things will be better than I anticipate, but this is how I feel right now and I just needed to get it off my chest!

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 13 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • How fucking selfish. Grow up.

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  • I would of been glad if my grandmother moved in with my parents before she passed because a lot of times she needed help. Times I could I’d help her in a heart beat. But not everyones the same. My grandmother was the sweetest but sometimes we would even go in public just to roast people together 😂. Maybe your grandmothers not all to bad and you can get along and be friends. Anyways idk how someones ashes is a problem for you I doubt shell dance around sprinkling little bits of it all over the place. It’s the piece she has left of him not like youll walk in your room to a pile on your floor so don’t worry about it. If the tv is to loud for you then go do something beyond sitting in your room fapping listening to it. Go make friends and get over it. In a nice way. Of course your moms concerned about her mother. Mine lived to 80 and my other one passed at 46 and I never met her. How would you feel if your mom was old and needing help, nvm you prob wouldn’t care then either prob really selfish. Anyways moural of it all just don’t let it bother you who cares your the only boy and her being old isn’t your priority so if you don’t wanna get involved then don’t. I assume you’re young or some shit. But why trash talk someone who hasn’t gone to college when your at home complaining about your grandmother. If you want to be alone then be alone somewhere else. You’re under your moms roof if you have a problem with a new roomie then leave the house. Go take a walk visit the nice land in your area idk.

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    • I wrote this at a time of really high emotions, sometimes I say thing I think I mean but realize later that I don’t. Thanks for talking some sense into me.

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      • That's more like it! Kudos to you for not being anonymous in this response. Although technically we're all still anonymous here.

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      • I’m the same I’m sure it’ll all go okay 👌🏼

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  • Selfish prick.

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  • People calling you a selfish prick would most likely freak out if they were about to have someone moving in with them that they didn't really want around.

    The fact is, it IS normal to have apprehension over situations like this.
    But yeah at her age, it is likely she will basically stare at the TV most waking hours. I do not think she is going to be inviting the Hell's Angels over for a beer or anything.

    Don't apologize for being concerned. Old people are rough to deal with but at least they MOSTLY stay out of the way.
    Why my 20 something year old room mate mostly hides in her room, I think she is practicing for old age.

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    • I have been in a similar situation, which is exactly why I called OP selfish and childish.

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  • No, you don't sound like a heartless bastard at all for saying all of that, you sound like a little punk-ass bitch! There's nothing weird or disturbing about keeping ashes of a loved one in one's room. As a matter of fact I usually keep the ashes of two of my dead cats in my bedroom! Additionally, my grandmother's ashes were kept in our home for a time before they were shipped from Nevada back to New York to be put in the same crypt as my grandfather's. It was my job to open the urn with my grandmother's ashes in it, and place the first love letter my grandfather ever gave her inside as per my grandmother's request. I viewed this final favor that I did for grandmother as an honor, and not a creepy or disturbing thing.

    Boy, you need to grow a pair, and stop living your life as an entitled brat. If you have no empathy for your poor grandmother then at least show some sympathy!

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  • I’m sorry you don’t feel heard by your mother :( but it’s not your grandmothers fault so don’t blame her (I’m not saying that you are)

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  • Depends unless she is a zealot of somekind or hates your guts because she hates one of your parents then I guess you could hate her. But if she didn't and if she isn't a bad person it shouldn't be a big deal like you said she might not have much long so why be negative.

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    • It’s not really her but it’s just the change. I didn’t want to come off as harsh as I did, it’s just a lot of change to get used to is all.

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  • Guys, I spent the day after I wrote this at my grandma’s house. We moved a whole table and chairs into a U-Haul truck, and trust me, they were heavy as hell! I talked to my grandma a bit there, and I enjoyed not just talking to her but to the other people there who were hired to help work on the house (I don’t get a chance to talk to people very much). I wrote this when I was filled with anxiety, and the things I write reflect how I feel in that point in time, usually after saying everything I feel calmed down and better. I was willing to bust my ass carrying that stuff both onto and outside of the truck (although my mom helped) and I really do want it all to go well, I just needed a way to continue some of the things I wanted to do since they require focus and I get distracted easily, and the less people present the less distractions, but I’m sure I’ll figure out something. I think the user leggs91200 understood my mindset best, but really I admit I worried too much about myself and didn’t have an understanding of what exactly my grandma was going through.

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