I think you're making this out to be a way bigger deal in your mind than it actually needs to be. And I'm not trying to trivialise the problem; I just think a lot of it is due to how badly you're perceiving yourself and the situation.
On a personal level, there's no need for it to affect your self-esteem. I can understand if it makes you feel inferior as a woman, but it's an invisible condition and it says nothing about who you are. So on that level it sounds like you are by far your worst judge, and you're assuming people think way worse than they actually do.
The reality is, guys (and people in general) won't think less of you at all. And I'm not just saying that to be nice. It only becomes relevant if your boyfriend/husband wants children. And I'm assuming you already do from the post.
If that's something that you guys are going to want at some stage, then you should tell him. But first I think you need to get some perspective about it. Because it sounds like it's this huge thing weighing you down, and I don't think it needs to be like that - it's like you're torturing yourself for no reason.
So, I can understand if you're sad because you want your own children so badly and you know that'll never happen. that's fair enough and it's something to come to terms with.
But most of your other fears, I think, are because you're making yourself feel worse than you need to.
To answer the question, personally I know I don't want kids so I'd prefer an infertile partner. And as an aside, I think more people need to realise that it's perfectly okay to *not* have or want kids (it just seems like a given for so many people and sometimes I doubt how much thought actually goes into it).
But anyway, unless your boyfriend is an ass or he doesn't love you, there's no reason for him to leave you if you tell him.
Lastly, try and stop comparing yourself to everyone else. I know it's hard, but you are your own person. I just think you're being way too self-critical about the whole thing and there's a big self-image, self-worth problem underneath it.
IIN guys what do you think
← View full post
I think you're making this out to be a way bigger deal in your mind than it actually needs to be. And I'm not trying to trivialise the problem; I just think a lot of it is due to how badly you're perceiving yourself and the situation.
On a personal level, there's no need for it to affect your self-esteem. I can understand if it makes you feel inferior as a woman, but it's an invisible condition and it says nothing about who you are. So on that level it sounds like you are by far your worst judge, and you're assuming people think way worse than they actually do.
The reality is, guys (and people in general) won't think less of you at all. And I'm not just saying that to be nice. It only becomes relevant if your boyfriend/husband wants children. And I'm assuming you already do from the post.
If that's something that you guys are going to want at some stage, then you should tell him. But first I think you need to get some perspective about it. Because it sounds like it's this huge thing weighing you down, and I don't think it needs to be like that - it's like you're torturing yourself for no reason.
So, I can understand if you're sad because you want your own children so badly and you know that'll never happen. that's fair enough and it's something to come to terms with.
But most of your other fears, I think, are because you're making yourself feel worse than you need to.
To answer the question, personally I know I don't want kids so I'd prefer an infertile partner. And as an aside, I think more people need to realise that it's perfectly okay to *not* have or want kids (it just seems like a given for so many people and sometimes I doubt how much thought actually goes into it).
But anyway, unless your boyfriend is an ass or he doesn't love you, there's no reason for him to leave you if you tell him.
Lastly, try and stop comparing yourself to everyone else. I know it's hard, but you are your own person. I just think you're being way too self-critical about the whole thing and there's a big self-image, self-worth problem underneath it.