Is it normal guys what do you think

Guys i have a serious question for you all. What do you think of a female who might not be able to conceive your children.

Should i tell my boyfriend that i might not be able to spread his seed?

Every male wants a fertile female who will spread his seed and bear his children. Would you percieve someone like me as biologically useless:(

Ive thought of ending my life- but im still researching ways to do it as quick and painless- efficiently.


I have no friends as im nearing my 30's and virtually everyone around me builds rapport with one another through their children.


I went to a "girls night out" with my co workers. I literally did not say a word of input because all they talked about was how cute their kids are and how their lives are rich in joy and purpose. I just sipped on my Mojito and forced that lump down my throat- ultimately i went to my car and cried.

I dont want to live observing life like this but experiencing nothing. The jealousy i have for pregnant women is overwhelming. I wish i was like them. Part of me wants to take their child and call it mine.

I have dropped hints to my boyfriend that our children will be puppies and kittens and we will watch them grow together and we picked names for said husky and or pitbull- and the Bombay cat

But i have a feeling he can sense or smell that i cant have kids. If i tell him the truth, will he leave me?


:(

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 41 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Not all guys want kids.
    And some are willing to adopt children.

    Also consider that some of the women you mentioned may be single parents either by choice or circumstance. Everyone doesn't lead perfect lives although it may seem so from the outside.

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  • I in fact don't care if a female is fertile because I am one of those weird "selfish" males that want no children. There is nothing wrong with you at all.

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    • It's not selfish. Having them is since they don't ask to be born and are there only because of their parents baby desires. I also don't want kids.

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      • how old are you if you dont mind me asking?

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  • Lots of nieces and nephews need a nice aunt. Don't pass up the opportunity.

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  • Im thinking that in this day and age with the economy what it is, and life as hard as it is. With more often, both adults working, that such a condition would be very welcome.
    There are a lot of men and women who dont really want to have kids either for various reasons. Namely, they see what the world is becoming and dont want to bring innocent children into it.
    But if your relationship is serious and you know that there's even a slight chance that he wants kids in the future then you should tell him.

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  • Your story makes me want to cry.
    I don't think I'm able to conceive as well he knows but I feel useless to the fact that I may not be able to have a little me.

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  • You should tell him. Otherwise you are setting him up for disappointment and resentment if he does want biological children. That said, I don't think he will leave you. You can still have children though adoption, and perhaps through ivf/ fertility treatments depending on what exactly your form of infertility is.

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  • I don't want kids at all and would not mind one bit that you can't have any. In fact it would be a relief as most women don't listen when a man says he doesn't want children, then they proceed to get pregnant and are shocked when he leaves.

    Kids are horrible. Sorry, but I could never raise a child and would never want to. I can't even stand my own nephew.

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    • lol yes i know all the horror stories of parents being sleep deprived and stressed out but the way i see it is its only the infant phase and eventually transition to and evolve to getting used to it.

      I think overall we have to learn patience and growing with another human being, but thats me. if you feel that way- i understand.

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  • You could always adopt.

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    • True. but it seems like it would never be the same birthing your own child

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      • I've heard a story similar to yours before. Trust me, a good adoption will bless both your life and the life of the child in a way that they might as well be your own.

        As for your boyfriend; tell him about your situation. If he's worth it, he will help bear your burden.

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      • Could you try a surrogate?

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  • There are so many orphaned children out htere. Adopt and you will not only make your life better but you will make the world better.

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  • Please don't worry. I don't know much but I can tell you this. Everybody's going through shit. I'm going through depression. My dad's going to lose his house soon because rent is too pricey. My mom needs a job soon she can't pay her rent soon either. Everybody's going through shit. Don't let this ruin your life.

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  • Awe thats not a reason to end your life. Ive accepted that ill probably never be in a real relationship and ill probably never have kids as a result.

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  • You don't have to be able to have kids to get married or be in a relationship. It's definitely not worth ending your life.

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  • There's no way I'm fertile so it wouldn't make a difference to me!!

    Not that I'd care anyways

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  • The idea of giving birth has always terrified me! I can't imagine going through all that pain for someone else.

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  • I can't say if he will leave you and I'm sorry you're going through that 😯 What I can say is if he does want kids he's going to find out sooner than later and the sooner you tell him the better. Imagine investing your time into someone for years and planning a future and then finally find out, I would be more pissed off later on. I definitely think it's better to tell him and not drop hints because it might not be registering to him. Why do you think you can't have kids? Have you been to the doctors? They can do bloodwork and determine the possibilities. Why don't you get that done first and go from there.

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    • I dont want to piss him off but at the same time i dont want to lose him either. My biggest fear is that.

      I think he suspects it and at the very least i want to do that. At least he will know why i stay quiet or become somber when we encounter women with kids and or their families. I think its obvious in my face, because it becomes tight and tense then i start blushing.

      My doctor told me its because my body doesnt make a hormone that i need to sustain a pregnancy- and they said that if it comes to it- they will refer me to infertility specialists which the prices are astronomically high and even then pregnancy is not guaranteed. It took the doctor five minutes to say this for those cold words it shook me numbed me.



      Should i confess to him that ive not been taking the birth control pill because im trying to get pregnant. trying.

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      • A friend of mine did Envitro (i think thats how you say it) and it still took her about 4 years to get pregnant and when she finally did it was with very premature twins with a ton of medical problems now. Its very sad and I guess its common with that. I can understand not wanting to loose him I'm sorry that must me an awful feeling. Do you think he would want to adopt? If I were you I wouldn't feel right keeping it from him to answer your question.

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        • Yes, the doctor warned me of that- that your babies might come out with serious medical conditions. Its like a cruel joke from nature

          we brushed up on adoptions. he agrees its sad how many healthy babies are born and not loved or wanted by their parents- but has not directly said he does want to.


          This is why i love the internet. I dont know you but im grateful that you are reaching out to me- in real life i cannot talk about this with anyone.
          thank you:)

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  • I think you're making this out to be a way bigger deal in your mind than it actually needs to be. And I'm not trying to trivialise the problem; I just think a lot of it is due to how badly you're perceiving yourself and the situation.

    On a personal level, there's no need for it to affect your self-esteem. I can understand if it makes you feel inferior as a woman, but it's an invisible condition and it says nothing about who you are. So on that level it sounds like you are by far your worst judge, and you're assuming people think way worse than they actually do.

    The reality is, guys (and people in general) won't think less of you at all. And I'm not just saying that to be nice. It only becomes relevant if your boyfriend/husband wants children. And I'm assuming you already do from the post.

    If that's something that you guys are going to want at some stage, then you should tell him. But first I think you need to get some perspective about it. Because it sounds like it's this huge thing weighing you down, and I don't think it needs to be like that - it's like you're torturing yourself for no reason.

    So, I can understand if you're sad because you want your own children so badly and you know that'll never happen. that's fair enough and it's something to come to terms with.
    But most of your other fears, I think, are because you're making yourself feel worse than you need to.

    To answer the question, personally I know I don't want kids so I'd prefer an infertile partner. And as an aside, I think more people need to realise that it's perfectly okay to *not* have or want kids (it just seems like a given for so many people and sometimes I doubt how much thought actually goes into it).

    But anyway, unless your boyfriend is an ass or he doesn't love you, there's no reason for him to leave you if you tell him.

    Lastly, try and stop comparing yourself to everyone else. I know it's hard, but you are your own person. I just think you're being way too self-critical about the whole thing and there's a big self-image, self-worth problem underneath it.

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