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My wife began a relationship with an undocumented Mexican immigrant. My wife is 55 and her girlfriend is 20. I told my wife to let her stay at our home since she didn't have a place to stay. She helps with chores in our home. Wife is thrilled, as she has told me that she and her gf get to play with one another sometimes 3 times a day.
I don't think this situation would be regarded by most people as normal. What's far more important is your reaction to it as the husband.
Your wife doesn't seem to have felt the need to keep the intimate part of her friendship with this girl a secret from you - and you don't appear to be that concerned about it, either. So, if it's OK with everyone concerned, whether it's 'normal', or not, is an irrelevance.
As a straight man I have dated many bi women, and have no problem with them sleeping with other girls, but if she ever mentions another man, that calls for immediate break up. I dont count my girl friend doing another girl cheating in the least, but if it is with a man, then that is a definite violation of my trust, I will be disgusted to ever sleep with my girl friend again. You being a girl might not understand our perception, but that is how most of us with bi girl friend are.
I do understand and respect your perspective on this, Joey, as it relates to guys who date bi girlfriends. I can also envisage how some men whose experience with bi women is non existent, upon discovering their wife/girlfriend is having a lesbian fling with another woman, might not hit the roof with quite the same venom as they would if she were being unfaithful with another man - though I'm willing to wager most of them would.
The distinction I'd make in this case, however, is that, in the absence of any mention by the OP of any prior bi experience by either himself or his wife, together with the need to ask if what she's doing is 'normal' (which suggests it isn't for them, if we define normal as usual behaviour), then I'm picking up the vibe that this is a new situation for him - and probably for his wife, too.
That's why I maintain, if I'm joining the dots up correctly, that a) their situation wouldn't be deemed normal by most people and yet b) despite this, as long as their both OK with the arrangement then it really doesn't matter, one way or the other.
However, your response does highlight the need for me to qualify the phrase 'most people' in order to take into account those men, like yourself, whose experience of dating bi women precludes any suggestion that there's anything abnormal about such behaviour. And I'm only too happy to do that.
I'm happy for my wife. She said the arrangement with her is like a dream. I do watch sometimes, but I usually just give them privacy. They play alot when I'm at work anyway. The girl has told us how thankful she is for letting her live in our home. She obviously is into it with my wife. Wife told me that the girl said that it's a fantasy for her to be with an older woman. I get turned on when my wife tells me how long the girl licks & sucks her ass & other things.