Is it normal for my parents to get offended when....

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Is it normal for my parents to get offended when we speak a little about independize ourselves?

I'm 18 years old, a girl and I have other two siblings older than me. Our parents have always been overprotective and we were always struggling with that since we were young because we barely got friends because we were never allowed to go out ("because it was dangerous") but everyone our age still went out. I think that's common BUT it has also made us shy, introvert and not experienced at all in life. This gets reflected of course on how we interact and somehow we have managed to "survive" in college but i'm starting my second year here and I just want to drop out and get the hell out of this city, where my siblings also are because our parents didn't want us to move to another city farther than the one we are from (they are 4 hours away in car). Even though I have always thought that when I reached the majority age I would be able to decide important things too.

I have anxiety and depression and I hate the fact that our parents are always getting involved in our lives like they don't have anything else to do BUT THEY do have. I also have trouble talking about myself I don't know what to do anymore since I feel like this is a snowball with a bomb inside and will explode soon.

I'm planning to escape where my boyfriend lives since he's like the only one I trust right now and it feels right to drop out knowing I feel this bad, but also I feel guilty about that because my parents have spent a lot of money on my college (it's a private one) and also that makes me sad 'cause I was supposed to get a scholarship but I just can't. It's too much for me I don't have time for myself and everyday I feel more and more useless and stupid. When exams arrive my situation gets even worse and i'm just faking to be fine because my parents are always worried and calling me and I just want them to stop asking for me. I want to disappear because I can't improve even if I try.
I don't want to tell my parents that I want to escape because, of course, they will get worried and will want to spend time talking to me but it will be worthless since I know they won't be able to give me the solution I need.
But escaping to where my boyfriend is (he lives in another city, 14 hours away in car) will be seen as if I got pregnant and I want to hide it from them or like he tricked me to go into his arms. (lol)

My father is an old, reactive and conservative man. But sometimes he is lovely and fun.
My siblings barely do anything to stop my parents from being over-protective because they are afraid of him as I am. He has never hit us or my mom but everytime he yells, I feel like it hurts inside me.
Everytime we want to discuss something he always ends up changing our minds by manipulating us, making us feel like we totally depend on him because of his money and tells us he is right because he has already lived and shit. But what about our lives and our experiences?

I think he expects us to bare with it until he dies.

But I want to let my father see he can't always control us and that will end up doing what we want.

I'm afraid I look as childish or ungrateful since apart from that, they have always gave us what we ask for and I know they love us. But I can't keep living like this.

So with that background the other day our parents came to visit (also they come very often to see us, like every 2 or three weeks) and we were eating and I don't remember what my brother said that my father answered offended, "Now you are going to become independent or what? but angry and of course we got scared since a minute ago everything was calm.

what do you think about my parents and my plan? :(

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78% Normal
Based on 9 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    Dropping out of college to run off with some guy is a massive mistake! Trust me, I've been there. I dropped out of college to marry my first ex husband, and it was a terrible misjudgment on my part.

    Be smart, and get your degree. I dropped out in the fall of 1995, and I regret it to this day! Your folks won't always be there to pay your way through school so be grateful, take advantage of this opportunity, and don't let this opportunity slip through your fingers! It took me twenty years to muster up the courage to go back for just one semester, and it wasn't easy at all.

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  • Tato
    5 years ago

    Your parents, I think, are just like most parents. They want you to be safe. They might do it in a way that suffocates you, but like most, their intentions are good.

    I think you should just tell them what you feel.
    Have your siblings, who are also affected by this, sit down with you and your parents and talk about it. Talk about how you guys want to move up in the world and start living for your own.
    Mind you, if your dad really is reactive and conservative as you say, he might challenge you, probably will, so don't back down. I mean, Sooner or later, you're gonna have to live your life. Might as well learn independency early.
    You can sugar coat it a little, as to not offend your parents. But make sure to be clear.

    I didn't specifically mentioned your mother because it seems, from your post, that your dad is the more dominant. But make sure to sit with both of 'em.

    About dropping out. If you really want to, do it. Just make sure you don't do it just to stick it to them. It's your future not theirs. Don't make any hasty decisions. Meanwhile, try and figure out what you want to do with your life.

    Whatever the outcome is, remember that being independent isn't a walk in the park. You're gonna have to be very calculated and responsible. Anyway, I guess you already know that.

    Good luck.

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