Is it normal for a guy to be attracted to women but be jealous of their looks?

49% Normal
23 Comments

I am a male. I get 'turned on' by women on occasion. However, I do not at all like the thought of actually having sex with a woman. Instead, I seem to wish I looked like them. I guess my question is less 'is that normal' than it is 'what should I do about it?' I don't feel comfortable with the idea of becomming a drag queen and (or perhaps because) I don't think I'd make a very good-looking one.. (This is weird just to type X(

Anyway, I read a comment in response to the post "Is it normal for a straight girl to be sexually attracted to GIRLS?" whch I quote as follows:
"...I still sometimes think about other women sexually. I dont think I'm Bi. It's a gift of being a woman, we can look at other women and see that their attractive because of how we want ourselves to look."

I *guess* I feel the same way? But, as a man, how are these feelings of any use to me? Again, what should I do about it?

P.S.- For the record, I do not find guys attractive nearly as often as I find girls attractive, nor do I wish to look like the good-looking guys I see.

Voting Results
49% Normal
Based on 92 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 23 )
  • (s)aint
    11 years ago

    Heya dude. You are not alone. I know plenty of people that feels like they are born in the wrong body and rather identify themselves as the other gender.
    You should really not care if you would look good as a woman or not. Experiment with clothes, wigs and what not!
    Embrace this side of you instead of concidering it to be weird/wrong because it wont go away.
    You are you, thats´all you can ever hope to become.

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      Thanks for the kind words!

      I guess I do feel like that, it's a classic case, you know?

      I do worry about it a lot, and question. I feel like it'll never be 'real' no matter what I do, to me or to other people, I'm afraid women might despise me for trying to be like them when I'll never actually be one of them.

      Of course, I worry about what people in general will think too: friends, family (I'm especially worried about judgement from my parents and the like) and to be honest I do feel really weird about myself. I mean, I'm hairy, I have balls, so what am I thinking? Seems like pretty normal stuff to worry about for someone with a pretty abnormal psyche, I guess, but I don't know how to face all these issues.

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      • (s)aint
        11 years ago

        Once again you are not alone. The feeling of knowing that no matter what you do you wont be a ´real´woman, nor will you feel like a male to the fullest. I don´t know where you live so i have no idea about how acceptable it is to be transgender or transexual out in the open.
        But i will say this: If they are real friends, they should not care even the slightest about what you are. If they like you for who you are they should accept this as well.Otherwise its no use to keep being friends with them.
        If you truly feel strongly about this you can undergo surgery, but i really do think that maybe growing your hair out and dressing a bit more feminine might just be a way to start.
        Myself, as a woman (Then again im much more mature and tolerant than most other people) i don´t really care how people wish to look. You are not hurting yourself or others and if you try to surpress this side of yourself you will really just end up miserable :/

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        • Jehmil
          11 years ago

          Thanks for the advice, (s)aint! I've been thinking of taking some 'baby steps' like that for a while now; I don't think I can change my wants, like you said, and I don't want to be miserable. It helps a LOT to hear reassurances from somebody talking directly to myself, so thanks for that, too. :)

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          • (s)aint
            11 years ago

            No worries! Hopefully you'll find yourself and gain hapiness and such. Also, a personal opinion:Femboys are HOT so you just go for it (Y)

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            • Jehmil
              11 years ago

              Thanks for the wishes.
              I agree! XD

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  • ispyaredsheep
    11 years ago

    Could you be transgender? There are wide ranges of these, like a femme FtM trans are a Girly acting guys...some people say "oh why be a guy at all then if you don't act like one" but you don't have to let stereotypes define you. Be what you want :)

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      Yeah I don't know much about the terms for this kind of stuff; this is the first time I've even asked anyone about it, albeit on the internet. I'm in doubt right now whether I can ever really be what I want, but I'm not going to get all weepy about that, all I can do is try for what I want with small steps. Thanks :)

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    "A thing of beauty is a joy forever".

    It's not entirely normal but I know that it is normal to want to be something that aesthetically pleases you.

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      I suppose so. But, I don't see how wanting this will bring me anything but malcontent. I mean, what do you think? From your perspective, is what I want even something to be desired in the first place?

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  • richie85
    9 years ago

    So dress like a woman but just have sex with women. What don't you get?

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  • highrider
    11 years ago

    ud make a great gay guy

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  • bananawhat
    11 years ago

    Just do you. If you believe in who you are you will then truly know yourself. Life is too short to care what others think. By the way, "it is absolutely better to be ridiculous than to be absolutely normal".

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      I agree! I don't have time to worry about what other people think. I am concerned, though, about what I think of myself. I don't feel like I'll ever come close to being how I want, you know? Too many physical barriers, it seems to me.

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  • Fightthebadfeeling
    11 years ago

    Funny. I'm a girl and I have the same problem. And I know I'm not homo so.. Yeah ._.

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      What do you do, or think of doing, about it, if I might ask?

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  • bigmouthstrikesagain
    11 years ago

    Of course, listen to this song by The Cure :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fear2AusBto

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      So Robert Smith thinks about some of these things too! Too bad I can't hit him up for a chat. XD

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    I was working with a girl today who I thought was hott shit. She just broke up with here boyfriend, and all I could think was.. who the fuck would break up with such a beautiful girl?? I'm a female to. That had no relevance btw.. Just wanted to talk about my day.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    hahha this is so funny.

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    • Jehmil
      11 years ago

      I totally understand it's weird.. :/ 'Is it normal' is kind of a moot point, I just want to know why I feel this way and what to do about it.

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        Maybe you wanted to be a girl? i don't know sorry.

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        • Jehmil
          11 years ago

          That could well be, I've thought about that a lot. Don't be sorry, I feel like any feedback at all helps.

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