Is it normal bf and i can't stop yelling and screaming at stepkid

we don't have him much,because his mother is a stone cold bitch. but I would like to have him more because he needs structure aka yelling.Complete strangers seem concerned at the way we yell at him.Half the time he isn't doing anything but we want to make sure he behaves so we scream until we are hoarse the whole time he is there.He doesn't read yet and he is 4.My daughter and son both read at a fourth grade level at years old or else. He seems to be becoming more like a wimpy snowflake everyday.We want to force him to shave his head completely bald and make him wear military clothes but his mom hates that. He has all these fake allergies and wets the bed and will not rat out his mom or tell me what other family members do all long. He refuses to call me mom.I demanded he says he loves me and he is like mommy says not to lie.He is so frustrating he wants us to play with and talk to him.Sometimes I just put him in the corner all fucking day because I don't know what to do and do not want to watch kid shows. But I am old school and believe children should not seen and not heard and not played with.