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okay so , my life partner has Asperger Syndrome and a foot fetish our relationship is basically perfect but when it comes to physical penetritive sex he not only wont do it he doesnt like it what do i do ??
I have aspergers as well and it does cause me quite a bit of problems with dating and sex, although I am not asexual. It does seems people with autism are more likely to be asexual than average. It is also possible he just doesn't know what to do appropriately or is uncomfortable with physical contact.
Uhm I think it is normal, I don't care much for self-pleasure at all. Like I will let her do a bj if I know its for her (like she benefits from it like a gift concept) or if she wants that type of pleasure/sensation via whatever method. I don't like any thing to do with my penis being pleasure if anything I find it annoying and after an hour or so it just becomes painful because the nerves just become like super sensitive. Like is why your body in normal circumstances where you don't prevent ejaculation does ejaculate because it needs a break other causes are purely mental. Sex is all about relaxing.
But the thing for me is her pleasure that's all I want is her to be happy, you know you go so massage her love every part of her body and then you start becoming a little bit more intimate like I can spend at least an hour before I start doing erotic massage techniques. Then you go another hour on the front as prelude to teasing these both can cut to 15-30 mins depending on your time windows just not as fun 15.. 30 is ok still prolongs each section enough to give that transition. Then you work yourself to the mid section pretend to go into the inner thigh but detract down the legs and do the feet for an extra 10-15 mins and then continue upward for like 10 mins and then give her a nice pussy massage no penetration what so ever for 15 mins buidling up to a steady level of clitoral stimulation watch her body the whole time that will help you adjust all your timing as well based on reaction. Then go down on her and work her U spot.
Then once she reaches a good point start with the fingers and work her U and G spot simultaneously with her clit and if your fingers are long enough or can reach deep enough try for th AEF otherwise ignore that part for penetration then when she gets really bothered, if your lucky you can end it here but like my gf she likes to give me satisfaciton to so going further actually in turn enhances her expienrece so you just say ok she will normally clench inwards to you then you sort of tease her with it on the outside for a bit then do slow thrust in and out for awhile you know switch up posistions and speeds based on her feedback then when she is done you will feel the wall tighten down on you and everything and her body shake convulse you wait in her for a bit then slowly very slowly as you dont want to over stimulate work back up to conintue the orgasam and try to do this a couple times and she'll pass right the fuck out. Just say you came or whatever make it up if she likes noises make it up as you go whatever sensations help feed her enjoyment.
I don't like it so I do whatever is needed for her enjoyment and thats it if I really need a release I will do it on my own time because in bed you have to account on how shes going to react that day so may as well hold it or if its been awhile and she wants to do head at the end you let her you know whatever woroks
I think it's very strange that you are sleeping with a developmentally disabled person in the first place but when you choose somebody with these issues you have to accept what you get. I have known people with true aspergers and am puzzled as to why u are with him assuming you don't have any developmental issues yourself.
It is not helpful to be critical of people regarding who they like. I have aspergers too and there are quite a few of us on this forum. Autistic people have severe difficulty with relationships and it would be nice if people encouraged tolerance instead of judging people are accepting. It is not an easy way to live.
I would agree to an extent in that I find most of society to be insane.
However normality is defined by what is common, and it is common that people are irrational and autistic people are hyper-rational which is uncommon so society disregards us as the insane ones for not agreeing with the illusions projected for everyone.
I have to disagree with the labels irrational and hyper-rational considering that I have worked with so many individuals on the HFA end of the spectrum. Many of them think that they're "more rational" simply because they A) Do not socialize enough to fully understand the rationale of others, B) They confuse intellectual understanding with emotional and/or intuitive understanding which leads to C) Them being so stubborn in their view points that they just label others are irrational because it's easier.
I'm not saying you, as an individual or those with AS as a group are any more or less rational than the average neuro-typical. And I don't think you guys should either. It's a condescending attitude and no neuro-typical will want to "educate" themselves about AS when you guys give off the impression that AS is some genetic, evolutionary breakthrough in human intelligence.
And yes, I've been diagnosed with it and treated for it in multiple ways so it's not an issue of ignorance on my part. That seems to be the go-to argument that every Aspie tries to throw at me. Not mad just bored at work k
It seems like most people are irrational to me because of how they act on their emotions rather than what logically seems to be the most constructive reaction.
I often attempt to understand people emotionally but usually it ends in even more frustration. I don't try to be condescending but sometimes am not sure when it is not helpful to keep my comments to myself.
Perhaps it is easiest to see yourself as the only sane one when you are the only one you understand.
Hey I was diagnosed with that shit not developmentally disabled, depends on the degree in the spectrum you are that it causes actual real world issues where you look challenged. I was wrongly diagnosed because of complicated neurological thing so yeah. But Eienstien, Shakespeare, and a lot of famous people were said to exhibit these traits as well.
Psychiatric diagnostics are sometimes debatable because they are terms used to describe symptoms someone has rather than the root cause. For example someone diagnosed with autism may have their symptoms due to various causes such as fragile x syndrome, elhers-danlos syndrome or 22q11.2 deletion syndrome which are common conditions that may cause autistic symptoms.
There are many doctors who badly diagnose peoples problems, but it is unhelpful to assume they all do
It is best to either get multiple opinions or invest in a worthwhile doctor who preform extensive testing rather than a cheap doctor at state run mental health clinics.
That is I advice against doctors at the state clinics. A legit one wont diagnose someone without proper testing. It does seem people with money get over diagnosed. I am against giving children meds as well.
Autism is much more than a slight behavior problem.
I was diagnosed as developmentally delayed with sensory problems and adhd when I was 5 and I am glad my parents didn't have me take meds or I think I would have been worse off because my brain was still developing.
My parents did completely ignore my diagnosis though which was a bit unhelpful because I did not understand why I could not get along with anyone.
None of the schools wanted me there and I went to a different school nearly every year despite never moving.
It wasn't until I was 22 and was still in high school I asked the school councilor for a learning disorder evaluation because while I always knew I seemed different from others I never knew why and began to suspect maybe it was me.
The councilor referred me to a neuropsychologist where I was tested for a couple days and diagnosed with aspergers and a few other things which seem related. Most people get diagnosed with overlapping labels because the labels never fit anybody perfectly and a more of a way to identify symptoms.
I do notice some neurological symptoms that I notice such as my sensory perception is different from what other people describe as if mine are distorted.
It is frustrating that some people over diagnose themselves because it makes it so people who have trouble functioning in the world are disregarded.
Many are homeless, prison or commit suicide because of their problems and being unable to find help. I am very thankful to have a supportive family or I do not think I would have done well, if you can call not having success with social relationships, school or work as doing well.
My moms bipolar is hilarious, my moms not a nice person before you say anything she may act like it one minute but no she really is not. So to continue she will go on a whole rant to her kid my youngest sibling who is retarded so doesn't really understand of how much she disregards her, how she is going to lose everything, and everything in life is her fault etc etc. Eventually the conveyor becomes frustrated and critical mass hits and they hit them right no she feels guilty about her condition so she starts to cry for a second literally then straight back to yelling. Now that's some fucked up shit, went to court and she has custody still even after what she did too us. The other house she is in is better but the people smoke, like she stinks like shit all the time.