If you wrote about a 1970s serial killer, what'd be his weapon of choice?

Elaborate further if you wish. It was a time when people could get away with anything, before FBI profilers and integrated computer systems.

Machete 1
Chainsaw 3
Piano wire 5
Miscellaneous blunt object 4
Knife 9
Gun 3
Gasoline 0
Bare hands 3
Poison 3
Other 5
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Comments ( 37 )
  • bigbudchonga

    Porn mustache

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  • McBean

    In the 70's, Asian martial arts was the obsession of every pubescent male. I would write about the evil killer as an un-virtuous drop out karate wanna be that uses nunchucks, shooting stars, and other ancient Asian weapons. He confounds the detectives, until a 5th degree black belt, sworn to use violence only for peace and respect, takes him out in a dramatic show down. Honor is restored. Our hero walks humbly into the distance along a deserted highway.

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    • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

      are yall suggestin that EVERYBODY was kung fu fightin?

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      • McBean

        Just suggesting that everybody likes to watch a good Kung Fu fight. Of course, y'alls kinfolk could give us some good drama with the land mines, the ARs, and such.

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        • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

          thats poor sportsmanship

          were they fast as lightnin?

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          • McBean

            That's a good question for y'alls kinfolk. They's probably as fast as lightening making the lightening unnecessary.

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    • palehorse

      I support this.

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      • McBean

        Yes. "To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the supreme excellence. Thus, what is of supreme importance in war is to attack the enemy's strategy. Next best is to disrupt his alliances by diplomacy."

        -- Sun-Tzu, The Art of War.

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        • palehorse

          You sound like a fun guy. Are you at all considering actually writing a short story about this? It would be fun to read.

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          • McBean

            No. To the supreme insights of Sun-Tzu, as demonstrated in practice later by Genghis Khan, I wrote software for precision targeting and weapon systems. Force multipliers, and stabilizing tactical systems require algebra, and calculus for their design as eloquent as the visions from our centuries old master of peace. I honor his wisdom.

            This begs the question: Are you an insightful critic of global balance of power, diplomacy thru strength, and stable trade among nations?

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  • palehorse

    Not as easy to get away with things in the 70s as you might think.

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    • explain

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      • palehorse

        I don't know too much about it specifically, but I suggest looking into crime investigations in the 70s. I've read a few books on 1920s crime, and even then investigations were more thorough than you might expect (although they were very haphazard compared to now).

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  • SwickDinging

    Go for something like the big frozen leg of lamb, like in that Roald Dahl book. After she whacks her victim round the back of the head she cooks up the leg of lamb with a nice roast dinner. The chief of police comes to investigate and then sits down to some lamb after his search. He eats all the evidence.

    I think that sort of set up is nice for a 70s killer because it's very much of it's time - a man would never say no to a nice roast offered by a local old lady. That would just be rude.

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    • Grunewald

      I LOVE that story!!! And Roald Dahl.

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  • curious-bunny

    Poison. So many untraceable 0oisons unless you look for it specifically

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  • CapriSun

    I’d say mutilation with a knife and then dissolving the body with acid

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  • toiletbrush212

    A long wrench. Bludgeon or strangle with it..

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  • Grunewald

    Strangle 'em with a silk scarf.

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  • RoseIsabella

    An old platform shoe.

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  • 1970's magic wand

    https://assets.vice.com/content-images/contentimage/no-slug/e01db3b47f4559587484c779aa5b8318.jpg

    She lures unsuspecting victims with her sexual charm... They all end up dying by electrocution

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    sharpened led zeppelin album

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    • AMERICANsavage

      Spooooky....

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

        the victim would be left dazed & confused

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  • TheBlindInquisitor

    Bare hands is the best way to get up close and personal with the victim.

    Guns are to quick.
    Knifes/machetes/chainsaws are messy.
    Gasoline can get out of control.
    Piano Wire is almost as good as bare hands but you won't get that same rush.
    Poison is more of a female serial killers choice.
    A blunt object could vary but plent cause messes.

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    • You sound like The Hound, "Poison is a woman's weapon."

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      • curious-bunny

        Its statistically proven

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        • What can I say? It's a great way to kill people.

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          • curious-bunny

            It really is

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        • palehorse

          Men actually are more likely to kill people with poison than women are.

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          • Is that because they just kill more in general?

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            • palehorse

              Not sure, I read it in Deborah Blum's book.

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  • Blunt object. MMM! Bashing someone multiple times with a wooden baseball bat would be sexy. Sign me up on both ends, please.

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  • Knife or bare hands. The attacks would be in the middle of secluded California forest.

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  • raisinbran

    Piano wire I guess? If I had to put myself in a serial killer's shoes. The others are either too messy, too loud or unreliable.

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