If you were a celebrity, what would the tabloids report today?

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  • Probably that my life was going off the rails because I was seen buying alcohol and my girlfriend had to "work late" on "an experiment" which, if I was a celebrity, obviously means she's messing around with Brad Pitt behind my back and I'm drowning my sorrows.

    Thank God I'm not actually a celebrity and she really did just have to work late.

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