If you consented a long time ago to never have to give consent is it rape?

Let's say a long time ago you gave sexual consent to someone, maybe you said something like "you can always have sex with me no matter what I say." If you never officially reverse your consent and let's say years later they have unexpected sex with you while you sleep..would it then in the eyes of the law and/or in your opinion still be rape?

yes 34
no 14
maybe 14
other comment 1
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Comments ( 36 )
  • RoseIsabella

    Why would anyone say something so stupid?

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    • Doesnormalmatter

      I would not recommend it, however, I do see the appeal. Some women like to feel very submissive and controlled, kinda like BDSM, and so forfeiting control like this can be attractive. Not too many women like that though...

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      • RoseIsabella

        I wouldn't ever want to be controlled. I think all of that Fifty Shades stuff is garbage.

        Better things come out of my sister's poodle's ass. He actually lifts his leg to poop, that's a macho little dog.

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        • Doesnormalmatter

          Even I thought it was bad how the movie portayed it, and I like kinky sex. With him being rich as fuck and having been abused as a child and all that, it paints a bad picture. A lot of the things and culture surounding BDSM I don't like, but I am not sure what else to call the type of sex I like because that is the technical name.

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          • RoseIsabella

            I dunno, but I'll never understand the whole thing of some women wanting a be submissive.

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            • Preference... lots will never understand why you don't like it. a big wide rainbow of taste out there, and there is nothing wrong with any of it. Your comment seems to imply that your taste are correct and others are wrong though..

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    • why would anyone ever tattoo their gf or bf name on their body? I don't know, but they do..

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      • RoseIsabella

        I don't know, I would never tattoo a guy's name on my body, ever. The only name that I would want tattooed on my body would be the name of a cat!

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    • silly rose it's a hypothetical, not helpful for the questions at hand,but thanks for participating anyway :)

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      • RoseIsabella

        Hypothetical, or not it's still pretty stupid. What kind of idiot would make such a statement about consent?

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        • yes it would be stupid for someone to say that. its not about that whether or not its a smart thing to do though, but i get your laugh at it. I bet if asked you " in the eyes of the law and/or your opinion if a baby is born directly on an international boarder, how do they decide the nationality of the baby?" You'd probably say something like, "who in there right mind would have a baby on an international boarder, that would be stupid." lol.

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          • RoseIsabella

            I might just might say that, but I might not.

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            • I'm not sure why I'm giving golden rose so much trouble, you got top comment for a reason I suppose lol. Ms. pirate ;)

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  • SKDM007

    you dont give consent once and thats it, free body forever, you have to give it EVERY time any physical action is about to take place

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    • thanks for the reply! I see your point, thats certainly how I feel it should be, but is that written in law I wonder?

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      • SKDM007

        yes it is written in law like that ,well in the uk statutes it is im not sure about where you are from as some countries are lenient on the matter (3rd world countries) but consent is common law so it should be the same in usa/canada etc)

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      • Boojum

        Not that long ago, the law (made by men, of course) stated that a married woman could not be raped by her husband, because when she married him, she gave blanket consent to have sex whenever he wanted it for so long as they were married. Your hypothetical arrangement is analogous to that.

        In civilised parts of the world these days, consent - either verbal or clearly indicated by actions - has to be given every time sex occurs, and it can be withdrawn at any time.

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  • LloydAsher

    Concent is always needed before intercourse. Dont have to be said but if you ain't autistic you should be able to read a room and judge what the proper course of action is.

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  • Boojum

    Your hypothetical (I hope) blanket consent in perpetuity is basically agreeing to be someone's life-long sex-slave. If such an agreement was ever used as a defence by a defendant in a trial, I'm sure a competent prosecutor would demolish it in just a couple of minutes. Since there is a trial for rape, then clearly the victim must have said the defendant had sex with him or her against his or her will. Since sex without consent is rape, the defendant is guilty of rape.

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    • yes it's a hypothetical out of pure random curiosity lol. thanks for the thoughtful reply!

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  • Tealights

    It's a grey area, because you weren't awake to actually resist sex, thus leaving little to no evidence of a struggle. It becomes a he said, she said argument, and no one can prove he took advantage of you while unconscious or if you simply you got upset and regret having sex with him. In the end it becomes a who has the better lawyer.

    In my opinion, I wouldn't call it rape, especially if you allowed him to do it for so long willingly. Until you've told him NO and officially/Verbally broke off the friends with benefits arrangement and you're not inviting him over or sleeping at his house anymore, it's still considered something you guys normally do. I know this seems difficult and harsh but you may need to end the friendship, because once a guy develops sexual habits like that, the power of friendship isn't going to make him stop; you can try, but I guarantee you he's going to keep doing it if you keep giving him the opportunity and eventually it will become rape either by force or with drugs/alcohol.

    Good luck.

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  • curious-bunny

    Depends. I love consensual consent so with me in those situations yes means yes and no means please rape me. Just one of those things.

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  • Sthrnman

    Living the BDSM lifestyle, as long as it was full consent, it is still consent. A lot of people have the fantasy of their partner having their way with them while they sleep. 2 of my exes and my current girlfriend had that as a fetish and fantasy. To avoid anyone trying to claim rape, i requested that they record themselves giving consent and specifying while being asleep. Talk to your partner to find out how they feel about it and come up with either a notarized written agreement or video agreement so if anyone tries to say you raped her, you have proof that you didnt. Just because a third party doesnt see it as consent, as long as your partner gives consent, it is not rape and 100% consensual and upholds in the court of law

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  • TenFootDick

    I don't think legally consent could be a blanket statement like that. It doesn't work that way, and I can't see how that would hold up in court. Especially if the person was asleep at the time it happened. I don't think there's any way that there can be some sort of contract that removes the requirement of consent, much less a verbal one.

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  • bigbudchonga

    It's a weird one. I think it depends on the relationship the two have. If years later, after any relationship having long past, the guy finds her passed out at a party and has sex with her then it's rape, but if they were still in a sexual relationship, and this had been said earlier in the relationship, and she was just asleep in the traditional sense then I don't think it would qualify.

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  • perfectxsilence

    Really depends

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  • SwickDinging

    I think the fact that a number of years has passed from the initial conversation where consent was given and the actual act would make it rape. But I don't base that on any evidence or true logic, I have come to that conclusion purely on the basis of how I imagine I would feel if I was the victim in this specific circumstance, and also the fact that if I was the "attacker" in this situation I would feel like I was overstepping boundaries to assume I still had the person's permission to do this years later, despite the longterm promise that was made back then. It just seems like common sense to me.

    Although it brings up an interesting question of what sexual consent really is, because if you were talking about something that wasn't so personal - say, for example, the use of a friend's car, or similar - then a verbal agreement like this would be legally binding in many parts of the world. Stuff like this gets a lot more complicated when you're talking about people rather than physical property.

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  • A statute of limitations on everlasting consent? Hmm. Food for thought.

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    • Exactly! well worded! Ya i mean it has no use to any situation i am in or plan to be in, but i am curious if such a thing exist, just because it seems as if when you paint certain hypotheticals like i did in the post that there are some confusing grey areas that arise

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      • SwickDinging

        Until relatively recently this everlasting consent was part of marriage. I don't know the specifics in the US but in the UK, where I come from, it wasn't legally possible for a man to rape his wife until sometime in the 90s. A protest group got the law changed because women who were physically abused and raped by their husbands were legally unable to press charges, despite the fact that the police could prove that violent sexual assault had occured.

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      • It's just one of those chicken or the egg things I guess. A catch 22 like as if you choose not to choose, you still have made a choice. Theres no right answer on this kind of question.

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  • Doesnormalmatter

    Great question mate! It would depend on several factors for me. If she was activly saying no and adamantly resisting during sex, she would definently have a case. But then again, the guy did not go against her original word. In court or by law, the woman would probably still win the case though as that is usually how it goes. It is kind of like a BDSM thing where a safe word is not used. And whatever was planned upon happening cannot be reversed midway by the submissive. I can be exhilarating but also quite dangerous depebding on what festivities are going on. But regardless, this idea of consent ahead ot time or for long term is fascinating to me.

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  • WeirdManFromTheSouth

    Dont listen to the PC liberals. You made a post the other day about this and the libs all told you you didnt consent because you were sleeping. Now you're here to get your sweet victim points. You said you didnt mind and told the dude he can fuck you in your sleep. Just move on!

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    • actually this is a different op, but that post did inspire this thought. was just curious is all. I asked a friend who is a lawyer and he said you cant give up your rights, so saying " I herby consent to be a sex slave for life" I guess would not hold up in the court of law. according to him at least.

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      • WeirdManFromTheSouth

        If you're having sex with someone why would it end up in court anyway? Just say no if you dont want sex.

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        • Of course you should just say no if you don't want sex. Its just a hypothetical, just wondering if there are limits to consent or how it would work in these unusual circumstances. whether or not in the eyes of the law or in peoples opinion you are allowed to give consent for lifetime..ect. ect. nothing to do with any real life situation in my life... just a thought. this hypothetical question does not include the person "just saying no" as you suggest you get it? its a thought experiment not an actual thing that happened to me.

          Its like if i were to say to you, do you think my ice-cream would melt if i went outside in 72 degree weather for 8 minutes, and you come at me with "just don't go outside"its like ..... that's not the answer I'm after.

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