Fantasizing about raping someone doesn't mean that you would actually go and do it. Lots of people enjoy some amount of physical pain, asphyxiation etc. But in the end, it's still consensual sex where either partner can stop where they want.
If you saw genuine fear and struggle, that would be a turn-off in real life, and you would lose your erection.
If fear and struggle would turn you on - then yes, you are f** up.
If rap3 were free of consequences, would you rap3?
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Fantasizing about raping someone doesn't mean that you would actually go and do it. Lots of people enjoy some amount of physical pain, asphyxiation etc. But in the end, it's still consensual sex where either partner can stop where they want.
If you saw genuine fear and struggle, that would be a turn-off in real life, and you would lose your erection.
If fear and struggle would turn you on - then yes, you are f** up.