Idk how im feeling

So i got high as hell yesterday and my friends put on Narcos from Netflix. I've never watched this show before and we started on the part where it was Pablos 44th birthday and the whole dying scene (look the ending up on youtube if you don't know what im talking about). This scene hit me hard asf making me completely forget that he was a notorious violent drug trafficker and when they shot him and had the real picture of him dead on there. Adding the fact that his he's was on the phone with his wife minutes before. Man fuck that shit was sad and had me scared i literally keep replaying this scene in my head man. One part that was weird was the fact that he only had one body guard. I really don't know if im in shock here. This shit really made me realize tht its really terrible shit happening in this world man. Idk if i should live like none of this stuff is happening or what.