Ok you know what it is obviously normal that you don't want to take care of him. But if you don't, in my mind you are a coward and a failure at life. I myself have an autistic brother and when my parents die, I am going to take control, but not because I want to. Because its the right thing to do. You have to think about your brother and way he feels. He's not some sort of alien, he is an actual PERSON. And the fact that you can openly say that he is a person you will grow to not care about, is crazy.
I can assure you, if you were your brother, you would be sad of the burden you put on your family. But never in a million years would you think that your own flesh and blood won't take care of you. And if you posted this online so people can hold your hand and tell you it's okay well then you did the right thing. The truth is, if you have any heart or sole what so ever, then you need to pull it out, grab it by the balls and say "this is it. I'm going to live my life happily and take good care of my autistic brother because he needs me to. And because my parents who brought me into this world would want me to."
You and I and a small number of other people were chosen to have a huge responsibility to take care of an autistic brother/sister. Don't blow it simply because you don't want to. This is bigger than you or me. This is what will define your legacy as a person and human being. You should not only take care of him because its the right thing, but because it's the only thing that will make you a memorable person.
I hope touched you in some way shape or form, because really I'm not trying to bash on you or anything. I just think that this is an Opportunity to do something special, and you aren't going down the right road.
I understand that this comment is five years old now and it may be futile to even respond, but how about you cut it out with the self righteous holier than thou act. In my mind you are an arrogant asshole who thinks himself superior to OP. Imagine being so arrogant and smug as yourself to think that you know better than this person who has clearly suffered more than you could possibly know. He shouldn't have his whole life destroyed because someone who he is incapable of taking care of will fuck it up and probably put him through hell.
I myself have an autistic brother who also suffers from severe mental illness, and he believes that he is being erased from reality. He constantly torments my parents who do nothing but give and give and give to him and he returns the favor with malice, contempt and nonsensical rants about make believe hocus pocus. Is this a person you would want to live with? Someone who would willingly torment you, your wife and children daily? You make an incredible general statement telling OP that he needs to man up and be happy caring for his autistic sibling, but let me tell you that's not what happiness looks like. It's looks more like horror and despair.
"You and I and a small number of other people were chosen to have a huge responsibility to take care of an autistic brother/sister. Don't blow it simply because you don't want to."
You make it sound like this is a good thing. That it is some sort of fun and awesome task that we have "the privilege" of carrying out. That we have been selected by God for this great task. If OP doesn't want to take care of him then it is perfectly okay. I'm certainly not going to hold my breath when the time comes for me, and OP isn't obligated to do anything he doesn't want to do. It's his life. But according to you, "How dare he!" "How dare he want to live his life free of toxicity!" "How dare he want to freely conduct his life the way he sees fit!"
"This is bigger than you or me. This is what will define your legacy as a person and human being. You should not only take care of him because its the right thing, but because it's the only thing that will make you a memorable person."
Nope. You're wrong again. In fact you're wrong on every account. It might be the right thing to do emotionally, but logically it is absolutely wrong and borderline unsafe. OP said he was unable to calm him down, so what makes you think this could possibly be a good idea? Legacy and memorability have nothing to do with it. It sounds like you're more concerned with yourself and your own ego than you are with your sibling, legacy and memorability mean jack shit.
"I'm not trying to bash on you or anything."
It kind of seems like you're trying to bash him. Even if you're not trying to, it certainly comes off as bashing. You would be wise to choose your words more carefully next time so that you don't come off as bashing. I on the other hand have chosen my words carefully, and in doing so I have chosen to bash, belittle and berate you for your insensitivity and ego. I don't care if this is five years later and everyone has moved on, as someone with an autistic brother who will likely be committed this sent me into a rage, and you needed to be put in your place. Here's hoping in the five years that have passed you have grown some perspective and lost some of the stupidity that you have exhibited in this post.
I won't take care of my autistic brother when my parents die, IIN?
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Ok you know what it is obviously normal that you don't want to take care of him. But if you don't, in my mind you are a coward and a failure at life. I myself have an autistic brother and when my parents die, I am going to take control, but not because I want to. Because its the right thing to do. You have to think about your brother and way he feels. He's not some sort of alien, he is an actual PERSON. And the fact that you can openly say that he is a person you will grow to not care about, is crazy.
I can assure you, if you were your brother, you would be sad of the burden you put on your family. But never in a million years would you think that your own flesh and blood won't take care of you. And if you posted this online so people can hold your hand and tell you it's okay well then you did the right thing. The truth is, if you have any heart or sole what so ever, then you need to pull it out, grab it by the balls and say "this is it. I'm going to live my life happily and take good care of my autistic brother because he needs me to. And because my parents who brought me into this world would want me to."
You and I and a small number of other people were chosen to have a huge responsibility to take care of an autistic brother/sister. Don't blow it simply because you don't want to. This is bigger than you or me. This is what will define your legacy as a person and human being. You should not only take care of him because its the right thing, but because it's the only thing that will make you a memorable person.
I hope touched you in some way shape or form, because really I'm not trying to bash on you or anything. I just think that this is an Opportunity to do something special, and you aren't going down the right road.
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meticulousmaster
4 years ago
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I understand that this comment is five years old now and it may be futile to even respond, but how about you cut it out with the self righteous holier than thou act. In my mind you are an arrogant asshole who thinks himself superior to OP. Imagine being so arrogant and smug as yourself to think that you know better than this person who has clearly suffered more than you could possibly know. He shouldn't have his whole life destroyed because someone who he is incapable of taking care of will fuck it up and probably put him through hell.
I myself have an autistic brother who also suffers from severe mental illness, and he believes that he is being erased from reality. He constantly torments my parents who do nothing but give and give and give to him and he returns the favor with malice, contempt and nonsensical rants about make believe hocus pocus. Is this a person you would want to live with? Someone who would willingly torment you, your wife and children daily? You make an incredible general statement telling OP that he needs to man up and be happy caring for his autistic sibling, but let me tell you that's not what happiness looks like. It's looks more like horror and despair.
"You and I and a small number of other people were chosen to have a huge responsibility to take care of an autistic brother/sister. Don't blow it simply because you don't want to."
You make it sound like this is a good thing. That it is some sort of fun and awesome task that we have "the privilege" of carrying out. That we have been selected by God for this great task. If OP doesn't want to take care of him then it is perfectly okay. I'm certainly not going to hold my breath when the time comes for me, and OP isn't obligated to do anything he doesn't want to do. It's his life. But according to you, "How dare he!" "How dare he want to live his life free of toxicity!" "How dare he want to freely conduct his life the way he sees fit!"
"This is bigger than you or me. This is what will define your legacy as a person and human being. You should not only take care of him because its the right thing, but because it's the only thing that will make you a memorable person."
Nope. You're wrong again. In fact you're wrong on every account. It might be the right thing to do emotionally, but logically it is absolutely wrong and borderline unsafe. OP said he was unable to calm him down, so what makes you think this could possibly be a good idea? Legacy and memorability have nothing to do with it. It sounds like you're more concerned with yourself and your own ego than you are with your sibling, legacy and memorability mean jack shit.
"I'm not trying to bash on you or anything."
It kind of seems like you're trying to bash him. Even if you're not trying to, it certainly comes off as bashing. You would be wise to choose your words more carefully next time so that you don't come off as bashing. I on the other hand have chosen my words carefully, and in doing so I have chosen to bash, belittle and berate you for your insensitivity and ego. I don't care if this is five years later and everyone has moved on, as someone with an autistic brother who will likely be committed this sent me into a rage, and you needed to be put in your place. Here's hoping in the five years that have passed you have grown some perspective and lost some of the stupidity that you have exhibited in this post.