I'm not totally sure about the way in which you want to have a mental disease. It may be something like what I experienced growing up, that I sometimes wanted to have problems, be an emotionally troubled teen, I guess.
Seeing mental issues in other people, especially when one is young I think, may be colouored by the esteem and admiration you have for that person, and it may be that, at some times in life, one does not see the mental disease as plainly and fully disagreeable.
I want to have a mental disorder
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I'm not totally sure about the way in which you want to have a mental disease. It may be something like what I experienced growing up, that I sometimes wanted to have problems, be an emotionally troubled teen, I guess.
Seeing mental issues in other people, especially when one is young I think, may be colouored by the esteem and admiration you have for that person, and it may be that, at some times in life, one does not see the mental disease as plainly and fully disagreeable.