First of all I am so sorry this happened to you and this is NOT your fault in any way. It was not your fault when he beat up that guy, it wasn't your fault this time, HIS mistakes will never be your fault. Some of the people in these comments are questioning whether or not this was "really" rape which is pretty appalling. You did not reciprocate his actions, you were uncomfortable and probably scared, he acted selfishly and cruelly to you. Rape is serious, you owe it to yourself to take this seriously, and he needs to realize the seriousness of what he's done. It is his fault, he has done a terrible thing to you and he deserves to feel bad, it doesn't matter how nice he was in the past, he's proven he has the capacity for this violence. I do not think you should speak to him, especially not so soon. You need time to process what has happened. I urge you to see a therapist, someone who understands the lasting emotional effects of rape and who you can talk to in a safe environment away from fear or judgement, especially if you don't feel like you can talk to friends or family, which can be so difficult especially if they know the person who did it. There are also hotlines you can call for support. this is the number for RAINN which you can call 24/7 and talk to a trained counselor 1.800.656.HOPE. I hope this helps and please remember you deserve only love and never violence.
I want to forgive and reconnect with a friend who raped me.
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First of all I am so sorry this happened to you and this is NOT your fault in any way. It was not your fault when he beat up that guy, it wasn't your fault this time, HIS mistakes will never be your fault. Some of the people in these comments are questioning whether or not this was "really" rape which is pretty appalling. You did not reciprocate his actions, you were uncomfortable and probably scared, he acted selfishly and cruelly to you. Rape is serious, you owe it to yourself to take this seriously, and he needs to realize the seriousness of what he's done. It is his fault, he has done a terrible thing to you and he deserves to feel bad, it doesn't matter how nice he was in the past, he's proven he has the capacity for this violence. I do not think you should speak to him, especially not so soon. You need time to process what has happened. I urge you to see a therapist, someone who understands the lasting emotional effects of rape and who you can talk to in a safe environment away from fear or judgement, especially if you don't feel like you can talk to friends or family, which can be so difficult especially if they know the person who did it. There are also hotlines you can call for support. this is the number for RAINN which you can call 24/7 and talk to a trained counselor 1.800.656.HOPE. I hope this helps and please remember you deserve only love and never violence.