I want to forget someone i love

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Hi - I decided to write this story since it had been several months I try to forget someone but it is not working and it is extremely hard for me. I guess you would say it is a typical story of two people who loved each other. In the beginning my boyfriend was very much in love with me and first few weeks I was also. After a while my ex-lover started to call me and asked me to try to be together again. I believed him since still I had some feelings for him which eventually became stronger. I wasn't good to my present boy friend by not being there for him when he was extremely kind to me. We were together about 4 months. I left the country, he was writing me everyday, my replies were dry and cold, he sent flowers and I phoned him but still was thinking about my ex-lover. But then when I returned my present boy friend left me, when I was ready to be with him. We could say it was a bad timing in our lives. But now am so much in love with him, am constantly thinking about him. I wrote him letters, saying that I miss him, I've met him and told him that I love him and am thinking about him all the time. But he says he s not ready to get back with me.
I know it is over and I need an advice how to forget someone you love. My friends tell me to be friends with him and see where it will lead, but for me it is hard to be friends with him. I think he might have met someone, we do talk occasionally, we met once in two months, I can see he had moved on and I try to do the same, but so far am not successful in it. Thank you.

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Comments ( 4 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Remmu
    13 years ago | pl

    Many people will try to tell you that you should just forget about him and move on - while forgetting is one option, sometimes you also have to accept that you had your time and it didn't work out.

    You sound young, so think of the probability of you two getting married: it's less than 1%, especially if you had doubts in the beginning. What is the point of getting back together with him now? The reason you are craving him is because of the attention and niceness he gave you - every person craves this regularly in their lives, but we all have to deal with it and find some other way to get it (through achievements, for example).

    If you are dead set on getting him back, the surest way to do that is to ACT INDIFFERENT TO HIM and TAKE UP A NEW HOBBY - this is very good advice. Showing him that you are independent and not clingy (most men despise this) will make you seem more attractive.

    However, be realistic: he probably has moved on and met someone. All you can do is learn from this experience and treat your current boyfriend better in future! :)

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    This story is kind of similar to mine. i just think you need to find a hobby that keeps your mind occupied and by time you know it, it would have been months then more months and then you understand what you really need and want.

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  • scotty4444
    13 years ago | pl

    Almost everyone will want what they cant have and not appreciate what they do have. Most people view the grass as greener on the other side too. If you really love him and always had, you would probably not have treated him the way you did. You may now realize how great he was, and also, the mistake you made, but dont confuse regret and sense of loss with love. If he does come around and give you another shot, and you dont really love him, it wouldnt be fair to either of you. Take a long look in the mirror, do you really LOVE him?

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    13 years ago | pl

    Thank you so much for your comment. It is indeed valuable. The only thing am not very young :) I wish, am 38 and have a child, was married before. So, it is not that I need his attention, I do miss him and so as my child asking about him, that's worth part. I thought to propose to be friends with him and to invite to see my child since he asked many times.

    Thank you again.

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