I want to date my friend but i cant feel love anymore

I dont have attraction for him but maybe I do but I dont know.
I have my walls up so high these days that I only ever feel anything if there's passionate storms and roller coasters of emotion but that's not what I REALLY want I mean I like the idea of it but exxperiencing it im just sort of annoyed and scared off by it and I do not feed into it instead I ask for stability and dont recieve it from those very intense emotionally unstable people. I had my heart severely shattered 5 years ago and I shut myself off then dont know how to turn that around ? I cant feel normal emotions ? I had a moment once with my friend where I was able to make myself relax and just be in my body and experience my emotions... I was able to relax and let my walls down a bit... And what happened then is I cuddled up next to him and felt something beyond friendship... But i've never let that happen again or figured out how.
I even had to do the same thing with my ex I had to remind myself to let my walls down and to be present in my body and emotions to remember how I felt and to not just be cold and distant with him which is my natural state these days with everyone. My friend is a very sweet person he likes hugging and stuff but I never feel anything except on days when I am more relaxed I just feel sad all the time I feel sad when he hugs me and im just in my head thinking about all the times ive been hurt and how worthless everything is and then I feel bad because he can tell im far away in my mind... I wish I could get myself out of that state permanently and maybe i'd fall in love with him for real. He'd be such a great boyfriend. I've tried showing interest sometimes to ssee if he'd be up for dating it's obvious he would but I always distance myself when it starts going too much in that direction. To not hurt him.
I dont know what is wrong with me ? Aand its not just him its ANYONE. I am NUMB I am very sad about it

Is It Normal?
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  • Love is not like in the movies. I feel that having a relationship with someone thqts a gooe friend is easier. my wife always was my best friend. We always ended up back together because of it. If you are friends with him, and yall get along well, and he is attractive you should definitely go for it. You should just tell him how you feel that you like him but you're worried about getting hurt. If hes truly a good friend you should be able to tell em anything. Take it slow. If it doesnt work just stay friends.

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  • Go to someone who you actually feel love towards not someone who you're not actually in love with.

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    • I dont feel love for anyone anymore only people who are not good so you are telling me you cant change who you feel love for by trying

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  • Tldr

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