I want to be a mother

I want to be a mother. Am Transgender woman (MtF), so obviously I can't get pregnant. I don't have a man unfortunately. But my desire to be a loving mother is so great. I don't mind the idea of being a single parent if the father doesn't want to commit. That's his choice. Am a bit lost on what to do. Am a strong girl, I'll figure something out. I'd love to hear any of your thoughts and opinions.

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  • "I dont mind being a single parent" your kid will mind and it makes a huge difference in his future. Think it makes them somewhere over 16x more likely to go to prison. Like 80% of prisoners had no dad in the house.

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    • That’s a good point actually. People always going on about how it’s totally fine to purposely choose to be a single parent, but you never once hear about how the kid would feel about that in the statements.

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      • There is always the possibility of starting out as a single parent, then finding a boyfriend/girlfriend later.
        Hopefully they form a parent-like bond with your child. And your child is happy with them.

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        • Kids are people too they have their own qualities that are influenced directly by you. Two parents tend to balance out any flaw you might give to your kid if the other parent lacks that flaw. Nuclear families tend to work the most efficiently and raise the best and brightest kids. Emphasis on tend there since there are always outliers but that really just comes down to the fine variables in the kid itself and the family and environmental factors.

          Wanting to have a kid just to have it is like treating the kid as if it was a puppy. Kids are just empty vessels for you to try to fill with helpful information so they are well adjusted adults. You seem to just want the kid to want it, which is a sickening level of overconfidence in your own abilities. You might be a good single parent but statistically that child will be brought up with MASSIVE disadvantages.

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          • My children will be brought up in a loving home. I don't see any disadvantages.

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            • And for that very reason of seeing no potential problems is why you shouldn't have kids. The kid isnt a gold fish, it's a 20+ year commitment. Heck I would be a flawed parent if I adopted a kid. Recognizing your faults is a key attribute to have because then you can try to mitigate them.

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        • I honestly couldn’t give you any good advice. I’ve been a father a long time but I’m certainly not a family man. I thought he had an interesting point that I’ve never really heard brought up before though. Best of luck to you though.

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    • Can't really agree with that. If the parent takes good care of the kid, it's very unlikely for them to be anything like "16x more likely to go to prison"

      I only had my mom and she did a fine job. It's all a matter of how you raise the kid..

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      • Idk if its true but its what ive read from many sources. I included some sources with their studies and shit

        90% of homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]

        80% of rapists motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes. [Criminal Justice & Behaviour, Vol 14, pp. 403-26, 1978]

        71% of pregnant teenagers lack a father. [U.S. Department of Health and Human Services press release, Friday, March 26, 1999]

        63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. [US D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census]

        85% of children who exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. [Center for Disease Control]

        90% of adolescent repeat arsonists live with only their mother. [Wray Herbert, “Dousing the Kindlers,” Psychology Today, January, 1985, p. 28]

        71% of high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. [National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools]

        75% of adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes. [Rainbows f for all God’s Children]

        70% of juveniles in state operated institutions have no father. [US Department of Justice, Special Report, Sept. 1988]

        85% of youths in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. [Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Department of Corrections, 1992]
        Fatherless boys and girls are: twice as likely to drop out of high school; twice as likely to end up in jail; four times more likely to need help for emotional or behavioral problems. [US D.H.H.S. news release, March 26, 1999]

        70% of youths in state-operated institutions come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (U.S. Dept. of Justice, Sept. 1988)

        85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Fulton Co. Georgia, Texas Dept. of Correction)

        90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes – 32 times the average.

        85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes – 20 times the average. (Center for Disease Control)

        80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes –14 times the average. (Justice & Behavior, Vol 14, p. 403-26)

        71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes – 9 times the average. (National Principals Association Report)

        https://thefatherlessgeneration.wordpress.com/statistics/

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        • What a load of crap.
          Tell that to lesbian mums & Single mums.
          You know what.. I just think you are a troll. LOL

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          • FromTheSouthWeirdMan is a rather old member of this site. He's not a troll. Also, they probably should tell that to lesbian and single mothers; it would help stop them from making such an imbecilic decision.

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          • I didnt make that website i provided as a source. I just provided the source. This is just what statistics say. You can research it if youd like youd get the same numbers. You cant choose whats true or not.

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      • If I take good care of my child. I feed them, clothe them, give them a home, teach them everything I know, show them love & support, talk to them about there feeling, give them the respect they deserve, Take interest in there hobbies, And ofcourse a cuddle everyday!
        am I a good mummy?

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        • What about eating habits? Health is an enormous part of safety.

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          • My eating habits are actually what is keeping me healthy.
            .I have a health condition called hypermetabolism, I actually loose alot of weight quickly and easily. I rather be slightly overweight and have weight I can safely loose, & be capable of taking care of my children.

            Than be a skinny "normal" weight, then be in hospital in pain and underweight after a "morning workout" walking too the kitchen for breakfast.

            Yea I choose to be a loving fat healthy mummy.

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    • Well if this was the case. I'd double down and work twice as hard as a parent!
      Double the cuddles lol.

      Good advice, something to be aware of. LIKE

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  • Please don’t take this as me being pointlessly rude, but I think you need to adress your unhealthy feeder fetish before you become a parent. You are damaging your body and you’re going to be passing that unhealthy behaviour onto your son/daughter unless you sort it out.

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    • Might be harsh but yeah I dont think trans people should have custody of children. At least someone else's children there are aplenty of "normal" couples that want babies.

      The chemistry in your brain is very abnormal 0.7% of the population. Gay people can raise kids just fine. Though with trans people they have an extremely high rate of mental disorders (excluding the gender dysphoria cause that's a givin)

      Get a dog or a cat, while it isnt gonna fill a hole in that heart of yours it will give you at least a reason to get up in the morning and do something. Idk maybe help troubled youth somewhere.

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      • TRANS RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS!!
        equal opportunity for adoption!!

        Your comment is about 70% BS. DISLIKE.

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        • Rights don't exist to begin with. You're not entitled to anything.

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          • Depending on your country. In my country you absolutely have rights. You are entitled. It's inherited from just being a citizen.

            By law here you are entitled to live comfortably and as you wish.

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        • I don't belive in human rights I belive in natural rights. Completely different set of rights.

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          • Well you will have a very hard time living in Scotland.
            We believe that human rights are natural rights

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            • Good thing that I dont care to go to Scotland. Not really an alcohol person and the landscapes can be found elsewhere.

              Natural rights are superior to human rights. Going down the human "rights" hole you are eventually going to suppress or force people to do work because it was someone else's "right".

              Clean water isnt a human right, nor is clean air or food. True rights are unalienable rights that are true for all humans. Not just a thing allowed by goverments. At what point are goverments gonna arrest people for having an unpopular opinion in your country? Oh wait that already happened.

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            • I bet if you asked around, no one in your country would find you in limits of “natural rights.”

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    • I can't get pregnant...
      And I do t have that fetish. (I'd like to try it!)

      But great comment thanks. LIKE.

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      • Then why did you reply to all those comments on the feeder post as if you were OP?

        I didn’t mean passing it on during pregnancy I meant you would be demonstrating very disordered eating to an impressionable child which is highly irresponsible. Heal before having children so they don’t have to heal from having you as a parent.

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        • The post about my greedy eating?
          I ready don't think my eating habits effect my ability to raise a child. Or will affect his/her upbringing in any way.

          Mummy likes to eat lots of food. Ok... so what?!
          She is fat?! Yes? Good, she has a cuddly body!
          My children are allowed to cuddle up with mummy all they want!
          Nothing wrong with that!

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          • Cuddling is not something children do, from my experience. Pretending they will would just set you up for disappointment.

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            • Growing up I remember cuddling up with my mum, and sisters , spending the night watching TV.
              Where am from getting a cuddle from mum and dad is perfectly normal and is very common. It's just part of daily life

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          • You are in denial of how unhealthy your eating habits are.

            Children mirror what they see, overweight mothers raise overweight children. Mentally ill mothers raise mentally ill children. Mothers with eating disorders raise children with eating disorders.

            You seem to have a rosey and naive idea of what motherhood will be like, your health issues certainly will become a problem for you and your child if you don’t tackle them now.

            Again I do not say this to be mean, it’s for the benefit of you and your future child that you have a reality check on this.

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            • My eating habits are fine. If my children copy me and eat alot, then that's fine too. Atleast they are well fed and not going hungry!

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            • I already have. The reality is that the doctors say that my eating habits will not effect the health of my children. No guarantee they will be gluttons like me.

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  • there are many things to consider here! firstly: be aware of the state of society when you decide to adopt if you end up doing so.

    secondly, as a trans person myself; yes, it's true we are more likely to suffer mental health issues. much of this comes from being ostracized, among other things. be aware of your mental status, and make sure you're in a stable mindset to handle a child, regardless of which age you adopt. having grown up with an unstable mother, mental illness of a parent can have a significantly negative impact on the child.

    do not become a mother purely for yourself. being a parent can be a very rewarding thing, but it's important to remember that the child will grow into an individual from you, as well.

    having a single parent can also increase a child's likelihood for mental illness, but of course, this will not always be the case.

    be sure to keep all factors and risks in mind, is all i can really say!

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  • A transgender glutton that wants kids. Oh dear.

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    • Cant imagine the what type of disfucntional kid to grow up in that shadow will be.

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      • A decent kid that loves his/her mummy, is well fed, and grows up with a open mind and a understanding of transgenderism.

        Sounds like a good person to me.

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        • That doesn't sound like a good person to me. To me, a good person is a decent kid that likes both their parents, is decently fed, and grows up with a closed mind and an understanding of the evils of transgenderism. Sounds like a much better person to me.

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        • Well begin fed and cloathed is base level parenting, fail that and you go to prison. Do you have the financial assets and background to support a child. Open mind is one thing, indoctrination is another thing entirely be sure to know the difference.

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          • Well duh ofcorse I can provide for my children. I have friends and family that will be happy to help out. I can get child support money from the government of I really need to.
            And I wouldn't need to introduce my children into transgenderism.. because they will be growing up beside it.. to my children "mum being transgender" would be their normal reality.

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    • Yes?! So what?
      Am I healthy? Yes!
      Am I mentally stable? Yes!
      can I love a man? Yes!
      Can I be a loving mummy? Yes!

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  • Oh honey, you tells us that you're trans (MtF) and then you tell us "so obviously I can't get pregnant" but then you make it sound as though you can't get pregnant because "I don't have a man unfortunately." but that's no excuse for you not get a man and start trying to pregnant as hard as you can, and so what that it will never happen, the trying part is the fun stuff anyway and you can always call you new man "daddy"...so that's something

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    • Thank you for your kind comment. I loved it!

      I had to word out the article like that because some people are just stupid.

      And in my head I am a woman, so in my head it is a matter of "I don't have a man so I can't get pregnant". Am single.
      So ofcorse am going to try! :) and get a man! Kinda hard because of lockdown. Lol but i rather call my man "sweetie", "sweetheart", "hunny" or "darling" lol

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      • That's find you can call your man whatever you like, I call mine "daddy" but of course he is not my real daddy and I'm not trans either just a femboy sissy that likes to wear the chastity cage and pretty panties...for "daddy" because it really gets him going and he is always trying to make me pregnant:) and of course no baby yet

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        • Oh a femboy?! A girly guy?! ;) Am into it. I think it's really cute!

          You trying for a baby?
          Good luck too you cutie and your man!

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          • I don't know if I'm really hoping for a baby, but I love telling daddy to put a baby in me and it seems to really turn him on too, because he always thrusts ever harder when I say it...almost like he's trying to break my biopussy, and I love it

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            • Oh my goodness! o.o
              Well as long as you two are having a great time. All I can say is congratulations and enjoy! :) Go for it!

              For me, it's been a while unfortunately, I still want to have sex, no bf/gf
              .. oh well. Am not giving up, am still looking for someone!

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  • You could pay a surrogate then still have the baby at a very young age.

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  • I would probably just suggest adoption, if it's an option. I'm sure some kids would be happy to have a mom, rather than no parents at all

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    • Unfortunately adoption here is difficult. There is lots of background checks. You got to have very valid reasons to adopt. As well as lods of restrictions on who can and can't adopt.... Let's just say I don't tick all the boxes for adoption. Yet..

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  • Can you see yourself getting married one day?

    I only ask because if you are married and have a job and no criminal record then you may be able to adopt. I think single people aren't often allowed to adopt, but I'm sure it depends where you live.

    You could also try and organise a surrogate but I don't know how that works.

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    • It costs like 40k plus medical expenditures, you also need the state to do a background check on you which may exclude you from getting the baby when its born. Since the standards for a surrogate is around the same as adoption.

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      • It costs nothing in medical. We have free healthcare in my country.

        But good advice.. LIKE

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    • I'd love to get married. But my parents will not approve of it, unfortunately. in my country, I am allowed to adopt legally. But because am single & trans, the agency will not let me.
      If I had a BF / GF then I could...

      Thanks for the comment. LIKE

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  • Look into your options for adoption. Both in your own country and in other countries.

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  • There are places you can go to buy babies but I think they're expensive. I never tried looking cause I hate babies, but if I had a baby I'd definitely sell it.

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    • And that is illegal in my country.

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      • Whos going to stop you? You think cops are going around looking for people selling babies? Babies are dumb as hell they cant even talk so they can't snitch on you

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        • Yup. My government has inforced this law the 1800s, yup the police will find out. It's called body snatching and the police & government run checks regularly and often. Not just for sold babies, (which is human trafficking, so illegal anyway) but also for the sale and purchase of any human body parts, human bodily fluid, hair and nail trimmings, or waste.

          This law is to protect our healthcare system from corruption.

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          • Not sure what country you're in but in America the healthcare system is corrupt as fuck so the same people too incompetent to stop that probably wont stop baby sales. The cops are too busy beating up black and homeless people to bother checking if your baby is legal or not.

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