I want a family, but can't imagine being married to a man

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6 Comments

Hi,
I am a 35 year old South East Asian woman, I need to know whether I am a lesbian or a bi sexual woman. When I watch porn, I tend to mostly watch lesbian porn, but I do like watching gay and straight porn too. Sometimes I feel like I cannot get complete satisfaction when i watch lesbian porn even though I climax, I feel like I could watch more. But if I watch straight or gay porn, I don't feel that way. The type of porn I would prefer would change during the time of the month. But mostly it would be lesbian porn.

Also when I watch lesbian porn, I can imagine myself being either woman and get aroused, but when I watch straight porn I only get aroused when the man is doing things to the woman - I don't get aroused when the woman is doing things to the man. I do get aroused by gay porn too, and even solo men porn.

I also get very aroused by some women in real life (I feel an aching sensation down there), but I don't feel the same when I see a man, even if I find him attractive. Very rarely I do find some men in real life attractive.

I was once married, and I did love foreplay not necessarily sexual intercourse. He was a very controlling person therefore we divorced, but once I loved him very much. I have also loved a woman (older woman) and had sex with a her, which felt amazing - incredible orgasm and fulfilling love, I was emotionally connected with her more than my ex husband which made the whole experience pure and one that I will never forget.

What I am confused about is, am I a lesbian or a bisexual woman? I would love to have a family with a man, but I cannot picture myself married to a man again and this really confuses me.

Thank you for reading.

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Comments ( 6 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Mulania
    7 years ago | pl

    I think your marriage has left you distrusting of men, though you are still attracted to them. The way you felt being with a woman is how you would like to feel with a man. Someone who knows how to love you and make you happy. Seeing gay men have sex probably makes you feel like men are capable of showing love (even though it's just sex). You crave love from someone. Yea, you are bisexual but I think you want the relationship aspect with a man but with the love of a woman.
    I don't think you should rush into another marriage. There has to be a man out there who doesn't remind you of your ex or is like your ex husband. But if you want a family you can still have one and raise it with a woman or on your own. The choice is yours. Do what will make you happy.

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  • SkullsNRoses
    7 years ago | pl

    If you have been confused about your sexuality for a long time then all signs point to bisexuality.

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  • Ellenna
    7 years ago | pl

    You are clearly bisexual, just like most of us and it's not static in terms of arousal. For me it means I am attracted to people regardless of their gender: for you it may mean you're mainly attracted to some women but sometimes to some men and this can change from time to time throughout your life.

    The point is, it really DOESN'T MATTER! Be whoever you are at any given moment and forget about the labels and the restricting little boxes: you are a sexual being, that's waht matters

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  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago | pl

    I wouldn't lose much sleep over this issue as the majority of people like lesbian porn. Even people who don't generally like porn at all are able to tolerate lesbian porn.

    If you have a lesbian partner with a brother ya'll can ask him to donate sperm for you or if you have a brother you can ask him to donate sperm for your partner. Don't worry lesbians know how to get shit done!

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  • atebefore7
    7 years ago | pl

    Go to a sperm bank

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  • ConfusedHP
    7 years ago | pl

    Thank you so much for your answers. Unfortunately, the country I live in does not accept any other kind of relationship other than hetero and also a woman cannot adopt a child if she is not married to a man. So raising a child without being married to a man is simply impossible. But I greatly appreciate your thoughts. Thank you so much for your views and your time.

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