I've had suicidal thoughts since i was 5

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 5. My parents were abusive, I still remember asking my mother why would she even give birth to me. 2 years ago I've finally went to the doctor with this and was diagnosed with depression. Is it normal to start having suicidal thoughts being this young?

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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • I'm sorry. Hang in there. Life is short, you will die soon anyway so there is not point in suicide. Don't look back anymore, every time you think of the past, tell yourself it's a new day and you will make the choice to smile.

    You need to distance yourself from the stimulus of your depression. One side of the family would bully me as a child and when I became an adult, I distanced myself from them. My mind became free after a long time, not having to look over my shoulder all the time. Hopefully when you become independent, things will get better.

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  • I remember being very little and feeling suicidal as well. I got diagnosed at 16 with depression but I’ve had it as long as I can remember.

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  • I wouldn't say that it's normal to be suicidal, but it's not uncommon for a person who has suffered abuse, and neglect in childhood to be suicidally depressed. The fact that you started having these feelings at such a young age is a testament to how awful your parents must have been. You probably have C-PTSD in addition to major depression, and anxiety. I hope you are seeing a good therapist. I'm sorry that you have had to suffer like this, dear heart!

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    • I never heard of C-PTSD, I did some research and you might be right about it. It's weird I wasn't diagnosed with it.

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  • Yes it can happen at a very young age

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  • It's not normal but it happens. I was abused since that age as well and have struggled with anxiety, depression and addiction ever since. Medications only.made it worse for me but they work for some. Group therapy and cbt along with self help groups like A.A have help me the most.

    I've also found that caring for others, in my case animals, helps me get out of my head and into life.

    Best of luck.

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  • Take antidepressants and benzos. Attend therapy if affordable.

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    • I do, but it's not enough.

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      • I understand that. Sometimes nothing is enough. I deal with depression and anxiety also.

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