With the child hood stuff, I'm not sure, sounds like you may have possibly had some sexual abuse. In that case, sex is confusing in some ways. Lines are blurred.
As for your adult self, forced sex, and rough sex and just be your fetish, I sometimes play into that stuff, just be sure your gf is ok with it. Have a safety word for when it's too much. But you could agree that at a random moment you may come into the house and aggressively prompt sex.
I've done this for as long as I can remember
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when attempting sex always seek help.
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With the child hood stuff, I'm not sure, sounds like you may have possibly had some sexual abuse. In that case, sex is confusing in some ways. Lines are blurred.
As for your adult self, forced sex, and rough sex and just be your fetish, I sometimes play into that stuff, just be sure your gf is ok with it. Have a safety word for when it's too much. But you could agree that at a random moment you may come into the house and aggressively prompt sex.