I try to seem lost in thought to make others drawn to me

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People tell me I'm spacey. I'm not though. I think I subconsciously try to seem lost in thought to make people drawn to me. Maybe I'm too scared to strike up conversations with others, and my look of pensiveness is a method of making them think I don't care about their conversation in the first place. When I hear others discussing something I'm not interested or involved in, I find myself making myself zone out on purpose. I guess I want the people to think I'm not unsocialble and I find my pensiveness is more attractive. I especially find myself doing this around people who's feelings about me I really care about, but I've realized that this may make me seem stand-offish and hard to truly know, like I've always got my mind on something other than the topic at hand. Is it true that it makes others see me as stand-offish? Or does it make them drawn to me? And is it normal?

Is It Normal?
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  • lefthandedleo
    12 years ago | pl

    I do this all of the time. Except, I don't do it to make people more drawn to me. I know that it makes people see you (me) as stand off-ish because when I do it, people never talk to me. Just how I like it. I think it's a defense mechanism for me.

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  • TheConsciousElectron
    12 years ago | pl

    I do it too when I'm uninterested in a particular conversation. Don't feel bad about it though. Why should I pay attention if I have nothing to add.

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  • Flowers
    12 years ago | pl

    That's a defense mechanism for me, to make myself seem I'm hard to approach. Such a defense made me gain an 'ice queen' (lol so corny) reputation with my peers.

    The reason for my defense mechanism is because I'm scared of people talking to me, since the conversation will usually drop dead. They will always talk about dreary topics, which I dislike...I can't help but space out.

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  • tacobellisawesome
    12 years ago | pl

    i do it when the people around my are losers, self-centered or some times i do it to make people wonder what i'm thinking

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago | pl

    I do this ALL the time! I've almost lost control of it because of my frequent abuse of this technique. I believe it's the "stand-offish" way that attracts people. So they go hand in hand.

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