I think lose feelings for my bf, then get them back?

My boyfriend (19) and I (19) have been dating for almost 6 months now. We met five months prior, all totally online. He's a very good friend of a very good friend, and we met playing video games with a group of us. I've never met him in person, but I'm going to in a couple weeks!
That being said,
I've never been in a relationship before. Not anything even close to one. I don't think I've even had a realistic crush on anyone. I've also been hurt by a significant person in my life.
I don't fully understand the feelings I have for my bf. We broke up for about a week and a half about 2 months in because I just couldn't sort my feelings out, but I was thinking about him far too much, and had that little jolt in my chest when I did.
Every now and then, about every few weeks, (especially before my period for some reason?) I just. Feel less affectionate. Unfortunately it's normally when he's being rarely clingy and needs my affection the most, but I'm just, not. I don't know if it's because I'm a physical person and we've never met? The feeling lasts anywhere between a few hours, days, or even a whole week. He just feels like my best friend, but I still feel fuzzy when he calls me "honey" or "baby". I don't understand, was it because we were very close friends first? I was also very scared of losing him as a friend initially, it might be internalized anxiety trying to protect me? When I'm not like this, though, I'm very loving, nearly clingy, I feel like I'm nearly falling in love when I talk with him (not that I'd even know what that feels like). He's just so sweet and incredible, I don't understand? I overthink far too much. I've talked with him about it and he understands that I don't get relationships really and I'm confused about my feelings. But I gotta know if this is normal!!!

Is It Normal?
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  • Its not like the movies. You arent always gonna feel swept off your feet.

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  • Im an introvert and I experience the same thing with people.
    If I meet someone i'm very attached to them and as close to clingy as I get, then I withdraw because i've been spending way too little time alone because of them which unfortunately causes some annoyance. Mainly over the fact that I realize i'm "responsible" for that person now because it's us, so I can't do what I want anymore aka isolate for however long I feel like. It makes my emotions go very up and down to the point I can't stand someone, to when I feel less of a need to withdraw having very strong feelings again.
    So in my experience this is normal. I hope you can find a way to work it out.

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  • Your going through a normal set of experiences in trying to sort this out.

    I highly suggest that you get the book "The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers" by: Gary Chapman.

    Often I recommend that you get 2 copies, one for you and one for your partner.

    You will both likely read at different speeds. That is OK as long as you are both making progress.

    There are other books beyond that... but, this is a good start.

    I wish you and your boyfriend the best with this, and a long and happy relationship.

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  • Well, you did say that you have never actually met him before so...

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