I think lose feelings for my bf, then get them back?
My boyfriend (19) and I (19) have been dating for almost 6 months now. We met five months prior, all totally online. He's a very good friend of a very good friend, and we met playing video games with a group of us. I've never met him in person, but I'm going to in a couple weeks!
That being said,
I've never been in a relationship before. Not anything even close to one. I don't think I've even had a realistic crush on anyone. I've also been hurt by a significant person in my life.
I don't fully understand the feelings I have for my bf. We broke up for about a week and a half about 2 months in because I just couldn't sort my feelings out, but I was thinking about him far too much, and had that little jolt in my chest when I did.
Every now and then, about every few weeks, (especially before my period for some reason?) I just. Feel less affectionate. Unfortunately it's normally when he's being rarely clingy and needs my affection the most, but I'm just, not. I don't know if it's because I'm a physical person and we've never met? The feeling lasts anywhere between a few hours, days, or even a whole week. He just feels like my best friend, but I still feel fuzzy when he calls me "honey" or "baby". I don't understand, was it because we were very close friends first? I was also very scared of losing him as a friend initially, it might be internalized anxiety trying to protect me? When I'm not like this, though, I'm very loving, nearly clingy, I feel like I'm nearly falling in love when I talk with him (not that I'd even know what that feels like). He's just so sweet and incredible, I don't understand? I overthink far too much. I've talked with him about it and he understands that I don't get relationships really and I'm confused about my feelings. But I gotta know if this is normal!!!