I think I just realized why some depressed people anger me so much.

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  • Some people just need the attention.
    I think a lot of people who talk about their misery don't want to be helped, they just want to be heard. They vent. I don't judge - It can be very healthy. However, all you can help in these conversations is just listening and nodding.
    You sound like a nice guy who just wants to make people happy. But unless they specificly ask you what they should do in a specific situation, you can't help. It will only bring you down.

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