I think i discovered the truth about myself

Last night, I got a sharp, sudden pain slightly under my heart. It lasted for about 2 seconds.

In that time, several excited thoughts flashed through my mind.

"Heartattack?!"

"This is it!"

"Was that ice cream and other junk from earlier enough to do me in?"

"It's over! I don't have to worry about that", (refering to random thought).

"This is perfect- internal pain, quick death."

"Already? Lucky."

Then, after the pain passed, I realized with mild disappointment that it was nothing.

I went back to flossing, but then I paused the music I was barely listening to, contemplating the gravity of what had just happened.

I truly wanted death in the second I thought I was going to die.

Problem is, I had only thought of myself. I still have pets who I'm responsible for.

Also, the speed of thought is incredible.

IIN?