I ruined my friend's wedding by mistake :(

I was not in a good headspace and I started arguing with her during her wedding day before she even went to the alter.. it made her 30 minutes late and her makeup that she had professionally done by an artist was all over her face because she was crying so she had to wipe it off and buy makeup and do her own makeup and ontop of that she also had her hair done professionally it was long curls but she was so upset with me she kept moving her hair between her hands from stress so her curls faded too

She got to the alter 30 mins late like I said crying and they thought it was happiness but it wasn't. Then after when they did the ring and kissed and she went to use the bathroom I went to apologize and she said she doesn't want to see me again but I stayed and went to the reception because I felt horrible I tried to comfort her and she said F you so we got into another argument in the bathroom of the reception and I said F you to her back and she cried again so all her makeup was over her face and she didn't have any makeup with her she forgot it at home because she was so upset and in a hurry earlier.. so she had to take photos and they all turned out shit and I saw them online now and I can't stop crying because I ruined her wedding day. What do I even do šŸ™

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Comments ( 22 )
  • MonsteraDeliciosa

    I can't imagine what could've been so important to you to the point of completely disrespecting your friend and disregarding the fact that it was her wedding day. What was so damn urgent that you couldn't wait one - ONE - fucking day!?

    No one does that 'by mistake', they might do it due to entitlement, but not by mistake. Own up to your shitty behavior and stop making this about you (still!) and how you're now crying in regret.

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    • I don't know!! It was by mistake. I love my friend and didn't plan to ruin it.

      It was the fact she invited her toxic sister who hates me and has made me feel like shit so many times last minute so I got really upset because she had to be with us and I told her it was f*cked up because she didn't tell me but she said she didn't want to tell me before because she didn't want me to freak out and knew her sister hated me... So it started there. I should have just sucked it up but I was so upset

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      • AngelLoc

        It was her wedding and ofc she wants both her sister and you her friend on her wedding day and she was scared either of you wouldnā€™t be on her most important day but the fact that her wedding got ruined because of you, I bet sheā€™s regretting she even invited you. You were def in the wrong here and youā€™re already aware of that. All I can say is keep saying sorry to her, donā€™t make excuses or blame her for inviting her sister. Admit you were wrong and make it up to her

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        • Thanks I keep apologizing but I know nothing can truly make up for it. She's still talking to me now but not kindly which I deserve. I don't know how to make it better :(

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  • 1WeirdGuy

    Because the attention wasnt on you?

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    • No I'm married.. It's because she invited her toxic sister who she knows harassed me and gives me attitude constantly so i was really angry with her for that and already in a bad mood because of stuff happening the week of

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      • bbrown95

        It was her wedding, she was allowed to invite whoever she wanted. It was not your decision. The only thing you could've done is stay home if you didn't want to be around her sister, but you don't get to dictate other people's guest lists for their own events.

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        • I know she's allowed to but she didn't even prepare me. She lied and told me she wasn't coming then she shows up to become a bridesmaid with us and it was really chaotic

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          • bbrown95

            I understand how you'd be upset that she didn't tell you the truth (though it was still her wedding and her decision, and she should've never felt the need to lie or accommodate you in the first place), but at the same time, that was her day and it wasn't about you and your problems with her sister. Really, you should've put it aside and discussed your concerns at a more appropriate time (after the wedding and honeymoon). Surely, you could've been cordial and gotten through it for one day, couldn't you? Sometimes we have to be around people we don't like and do things we don't want to in life, and not make a big scene about it.

            As a friend, it's best to set aside your differences and remain cordial, refuse to engage in any drama or negativity from the other party (I'm a firm believer that in the vast majority of cases, drama takes two to tango), and do what you can to ensure the day runs smoothly for your friend out of respect for them. Trust me, I've had to be around people I couldn't stand and keep my mouth shut and a straight face on more than one occasion for both friends and family. It's something you do for people you care about rather than making it about yourself, especially on such a big day like a wedding that can't exactly be redone (and really shouldn't have to be due to friend/family drama).

            Another thing to remember is that blood is thicker than water. Assuming she has a decently close familial relationship with her sister, it should've never been of any surprise to you that she was going to be invited. Unless they're estranged, very few people will pick friends over family. It's honestly selfish and entitled to expect any different.

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      • 1WeirdGuy

        Woooow god forbid she invited her own sister to her wedding....

        You gotta know how crazy that is

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        • It's pretty crazy ngl

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  • howaminotmyself

    Leave her alone.

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  • leggs91200

    Kind of sounds like a white trash wedding. Maybe you and the sister got into it but why bring the bride into it?

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  • litelander8

    I ruined my friends wedding too. Just from drinking too much. I was also in a terrible headspace. Just try to reach out with a sincere apology.

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    • How do you not feel insane guilt 24/7? I'm wondering if I'll ever be able to deal with the guilt

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      • litelander8

        When I think about it, I feel awful. But I can also say that thereā€™s something ridiculous going on at every wedding. It just happen to be me in this case.

        Iā€™ve definitely learned a lot about myself since then. And I have another wedding coming up that I refused to be a bridesmaid but will be a ā€œgoferā€ for the bride and groom instead. Also, donā€™t go to weddings sad. I fucked up Bc I was so bad off. Not that itā€™s an excuse for my behavior.

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  • SkullsNRoses

    What were you arguing about?

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    • She invited her toxic sister who has made me feel like crap so many times who I purposely avoided and she knew this and is very aware that her sister has mistreated me but her sister just shows up and I freak out and then we got in an argument because my blood was boiling from all the crap she's done to me. I'm an introvert and her sister is super extroverted and put me down a lot and said so many degrading things because she's a narcissist

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  • Wow3986

    You're a terrible friend, and not only that, a terrible human being.

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    • You're correct :(

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  • kelili

    You should leave her alone. What are you expecting here? Compassion, understanding? You've ruined her day! You could just have stayed somewhere alone where you could have been an asshole to yourself. You are a very bad person and being sorry is not enough. You are old enough to know (at the time you were doing it) that it was disgusting to act like you've done. And yet you proceed to do it, not once but twice.

    What you've done cannot be undone.

    You're an ugly person.

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    • I'm not sure what I'm expecting I'm trying to figure out what to do because I feel so bad and I don't think I can do anything to make it better. I agree I'm a really bad person. I just don't know what to even do if I can do anything to make her happier at all. :(

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