I really want to be a sex slave

Let me start off with:
I am male
I am straight. I find the female form highly erotic and the male body disgusting.

Yet, I still want to be a submissive b**ch.

When I pleasure myself, the only thing I wank to is the thought of being my younger brothers sex slave.

He is a fat, lazy, son of a b**ch that I hate with every fiber of my being.

Yet, I cannot stop yearning to suck his c*ck, and feel it deep in my ass.

I don't know where these feelings come from, as the thought of kissing a man nearly brings vomit to my mouth.

Why is sucking my brothers c*ck as acceptable in my mind as dating a woman? Is this normal?