I don't know why people are accusing you of being a necrophile when nothing you said suggests it at all.
You suffer from autassassinophilia. You're turned on by either the thought of being killed or the risk of it. It may or may not overlap with masochism, arousal at being hurt, the thought of being hurt, or the risk of being hurt.
Masochism is much more manageable as there are safe ways to explore it, but autassassinophilia likely means you have your imagination alone to get you off unless roleplaying being killed without actually being seriously hurt is enough for you.
If you value your life, it's bad news if you think it might cause you to put yourself in a risky situation. If you do value your life, I'd actually suggest trying to kill the kink, as exploring kinks leads to fetishes, and exploring fetishism leads to needing more and more to get off.
This isn't a big deal with most fetishes, but as the end result of yours is death, you likely shouldn't feed it. If you get to the point where you feel you might go put yourself at risk, I would make a habit of masturbating immediately without fantasizing too much or worrying about really making the orgasm great.
There was actually a rehabilitated serial killer who used this method to prevent acting on their own kink, murder. As soon as they felt aroused, they just immediately masturbated as fast as they could without thinking about it much or doing anything to lead to needing more and more.
I react to autopsy photos...differently
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I don't know why people are accusing you of being a necrophile when nothing you said suggests it at all.
You suffer from autassassinophilia. You're turned on by either the thought of being killed or the risk of it. It may or may not overlap with masochism, arousal at being hurt, the thought of being hurt, or the risk of being hurt.
Masochism is much more manageable as there are safe ways to explore it, but autassassinophilia likely means you have your imagination alone to get you off unless roleplaying being killed without actually being seriously hurt is enough for you.
If you value your life, it's bad news if you think it might cause you to put yourself in a risky situation. If you do value your life, I'd actually suggest trying to kill the kink, as exploring kinks leads to fetishes, and exploring fetishism leads to needing more and more to get off.
This isn't a big deal with most fetishes, but as the end result of yours is death, you likely shouldn't feed it. If you get to the point where you feel you might go put yourself at risk, I would make a habit of masturbating immediately without fantasizing too much or worrying about really making the orgasm great.
There was actually a rehabilitated serial killer who used this method to prevent acting on their own kink, murder. As soon as they felt aroused, they just immediately masturbated as fast as they could without thinking about it much or doing anything to lead to needing more and more.