I pull out my dick and rub it on fruit at the store

When I'm shopping I like to pull out my dick when no one is looking and rub it all over the fruit. I do this pretty often and my dick is starting to smell like apples. It's also growing dick cheese which I find to be unpleasant. I'm pretty sure every guy does this type of thing.

Voting Results
18% Normal
Based on 110 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 37 )
  • Tigernormal

    Hopefully the pesticide gives you skin cancer.

    How come the bananas are bigger than your weener?

    Yes it’s me in security watching you.

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  • Yobrepaid

    No one's looking?

    Except the guys watching the security cameras.

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    • TKB

      I agree.. AND DUDE.. WE HAVE TO EAT THAT STUFF! HOW DO WE KNOW THAT YOUR RUBBED YOU LONG WANG ON IT?! THATS SO NASTY.. STOP DOING IT.

      It turns out, that is not normal.

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    • JimmyBlack

      Haha. That's a great way to end up on the evening news!
      I think you'd get away with it easier as an employee in the back room and even then they have cameras. Not really worth the risk and not fair to the shoppers. For all you know some little kid is going to eat that fruit! Not normal.

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  • How do ya like them apples.

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  • shade_ilmaendu

    I miss the days when IIN troll posts were creative and funny.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Technically you're contaminating food and committing indecent exposure. I hope you get arrested! If I saw someone like you in the grocery store you'd end up in jail where you belong.

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    • CozmoWank

      Technically he's a troll because I highly doubt he actually does this shit.

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      • itsamistake

        This. I think it's the same troll who writes something different practically every day, usually something to do with sex or in this case, sex organs. I am sure he is a 14 year old virgin with a very poor grasp on either grammar and spelling. Unimaginative too.

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        • JimmyBlack

          I got to admit I was laughing while reading more so when he said his dick started to smell like apples.

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  • Heloworld

    poor fruit

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  • Dustyair

    Totally normal, I rub mine in the pickles.

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  • lonewolf1253

    That's pretty funny but not very original. You can make up a better story than that. Use you imagination.

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  • buddyroowho

    Sometimes I make a fruit shish-kabob and walk around and let people sample with my special dip sauce

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  • e51pegasi

    I bet the staff love you.

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  • CozmoWank

    I do it too but I make sure there's an audience.

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  • SmokeEverything

    Technically the people eating that fruit have given you half a blowjob.

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  • Cutie12345

    Ooo yes try the bagels ;) lmao this post hahaha

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  • 191-92m

    Which grocery store do you frequent?

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  • bobia_borupski

    this reminds me of what i like to do with paul walker's nostrils

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  • bluetooth

    That is just nasty#! Std from fruits..

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  • FoleyCatheterLover

    I rub my catheter on the peaches feels so good../.and yes i take drugs....

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  • yumri

    just remember to not cm on them as that will be bad for who is actually going to buy it in the end

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  • notnormaldontlistentome

    I knew it!

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  • Bailey_Rose

    troll

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  • AlanaTee

    Be sure to nut on them next time.

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  • Pumpurrnickel

    Dick cheese...

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  • LuxM4G

    Hey! We don't take kindly to folks who go pulling their dicks in the grocery store and rubbing it in fruit around here...

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    • JimmyBlack

      He claims its normal. Yes when I go grocery shopping there's always about 5 or 6 dudes with their dicks out rubbing it on the produce. To top it off a bunch of women shoving banana's up their vag.

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      • Hardinawetdiaper

        Lolololololololololololololololololololololololollololol

        I lost it at the end with the banana part lol

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        • lordofopinions

          Me too! Lol

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  • GreenPelican

    Troll.

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  • MrsEdGein

    Pics or it didn't happen.

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  • jethro

    LOL... Yea right.

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  • MeXiCaNtS

    Sick!

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk

    kumquats?

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  • randypete

    Are you on drugs

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