I only like the chase not the relationship

86% Normal
7 Comments

So I have this problem with boys and it's been there since grammar school: I can't like them if they like me.

There'll be a boy I like a lot (like I'm already planning the rest of our life with our 2-3 children) but the second he catches on and starts to like me as more than a friend, I flip. I don't care if we're meant to be, it's over. The second I catch on, I'll do anything to keep away from the whole awkward "ask out" scene, which usually ends in disaster where we don't talk for weeks.

The farthest I've ever gotten is a lame relationship that lasted for 4 months and ended the second he said "I wanna marry you". I still haven't even talked to the guy and that was years ago! and he hates me like hell xD , help please?

I feel like a guy who's just in it for the chase; am I really that scared of commitment?

Is anyone else like this?

Voting Results
86% Normal
Based on 297 votes (255 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 7 )
  • Invictus
    12 years ago

    I do this with girls all the time, and i get a high of it. I pick them up until they want me, then i decide they are not good enough for me and break it off. It's kinda rotten, but it gives you a nice confidence boost.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • deviantd
    13 years ago

    I can be this way. I'm a total comitmentphobe. But it is fear, because it doesn't sound like you have enough relationship experience to be that jaded.

    If you would some day like a normal relationship you need to take a good look at why you feel this way. What could be making you that afraid of relationships?
    loss of control, seeing a bad relationship as a child, some form of abuse,...a therapist may be able to help you figure it out

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • ohhpleasee
    13 years ago

    umm this is totally the same for me. :/ i always notice how i feel like im with the perfect guy and then he likes me totally and want to be in a relationship and i cant do it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • follow_me_down
    13 years ago

    I used to do this. When I got to college I worked through my issues the first year in opening up to a boy.It didn't work out but I learned a lot and have been happy for the last two years and half years with my current boyfriend.

    Maybe your problem is you like the idea of what the relationship is going to be like (as you said you wanted to have kids with the one) but don't want to actually go through with it cause it might not be what you expected and destroy your dream.

    Definitely do some baby steps..like go out on a date and when you start to feel like your flipping try to concentrate on what makes the guy great and worthy of a shot with you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • dc22
    13 years ago

    I have the same problem

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • big.z
    13 years ago

    Plus I think everyone has a fear of commitment because it's different slowly allow yourself to open up. After a while of just chasing people think your
    Shallow

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • big.z
    13 years ago

    I hve the same problem I'm a guy and i chase and get but can't date lol

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0