I need advice on an incredibly confusing situation

So I’m stuck in a really shitty position right now.

On one hand, there’s one person who is on the surface rather obnoxious. Seemingly on the edge of insanity. Melodramatic. But, there’s something about them that draws me in like nobody else. They’re artistic when you get to know them. It’s obvious there’s something deeper. You want to know them better but there’s a sort of wall that prevents that. Their eyes make them immediately stand out. I don’t think there’s ever been a time when I’ve looked at them and not been amazed by what I was seeing.

On the other hand, there’s someone else who seems to really understand me. They arrived in my life last year. Admittedly, I haven’t known them as long as who I mentioned above. However, they’ve helped me become more social. They’ve made me realize that I don’t have to be an outcast. They broke down my walls until I made them impenetrable. All this and they don’t seem to know how much they’ve affected me. People have joked about us being together. And yet, it seems like there’s something there that just barely prevents the proper chemistry. Some may call it the dreaded friendzone. Others say it’s the “Love you like a sibling” situation.

So, it would seem that the obvious choice here is the second. But something prevents us from really seeming like we fit. It would seem that we feel similar, but maybe not quite the same. Furthermore, something draws me to the first person like a magnet. Something feels more real there. It feels more right.

I need advice. What do you suggest? Furthermore, do you think it’s possible that no one ends up hurt from this situation?

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Comments ( 7 )
  • UselessTrash2

    Idk man...maybe u could be in a poly relationship if you guys all agree to it (but that's prob just me being idyllic)

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    • sassycake

      It's not a bad idea if everyone involved agrees to it. I'm with someone right now and both of us are interested in keeping the relationship somewhat open. Right when we got together we had a long conversation discussing what we are and aren't comfortable with. The biggest thing to keep in mind (if you're open to it) is communication.

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    • WewLaddie

      Bad idea.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Check out door number two.

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  • Boojum

    You may find this an astonishing concept and difficult to take on board, but bear with me:

    There do exist in the world more than two people of your chosen gender with whom you might possibly form a positive romantic and/or sexual relationship.

    From what you say, the first person sounds like an angsty, self- and image-obsessed artist-type, and your attraction sounds like a variation on the self-destructive bad-boy obsession some people have. Proceed if you wish, but be prepared to learn some painful lessons about how selfish and fucked up some people can be.

    The second sounds like someone who would be a good friend, and good friends should always be valued.

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  • WewLaddie

    I'd suggest trying to spend more time talking deeply or doing things with the first person to get to know him better perhaps. But really, you want someone that makes you a better person and that you can help make a better person, so that both your lives can be better. That sounds to me more like the second, and maybe you agree already, but it's up to you.

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  • TerriAngel

    When in doubt.
    Fuck the hell out of both.
    Who makes you happy?
    There's your answer.
    Kinda confused why you ask?
    Second option sounds gay.
    He'll eventually leave you anyway.
    It feels good to feel like a man understands, But.
    Really.

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