I'm worried i don't love my stepdaughter anymore

Hey, I was lurking on this site like I do, I wasn't ever a member before I read your post and felt compelled to respond. I believe what you are going through is post partum depression. I say this because I experienced this with both of my children and I lost custody of my first child because it went untreated. Its nothing to panic about as long as you talk to your doc about it, and be just as candid with him/her about your feelings as you were here. Temporary medication and therapy will help you through all of this. Trust me, you don't hate your step-daughter, just think of the depression as a lens or looking glass that makes feelings and emotions distorted or hard to process. Also you mentioned you had previous issues battling depression when you were younger, which means your more susceptible to post partum depression. While seeking medical help, try finding spiritual guidance too, I find that this helped me.
F*ck all of you people who just passed judgment and called this woman selfish or self centered. Obviously she is reaching out for advice and isn't selfish if she is able to rationalize that something isn't right with how she is feeling. Find a more constructive way to spend your time than bashing people.

you aren't unstable, you have a lot on your plate.

social services can be horrid to deal with. they put people through the ringer, without any understanding or knowledge. they have the power of being civil servants, which makes them terrors.

don't forget that it will take much more time for the 3 year old to get comfortable and not feel like she's on the verge of being abandoned. it will take more time to undo all that's been done to her.

anyway, about you. i think you need to start taking care of yourself. that's the way to be a good parent. you do need time away from the kids. after all, it is never as rewarding as we imagined it.

my advice is to print what you wrote above and bring it to your primary care physician. no doubt, you may need a little help right now in the way of a prescription. please do not take that as an insult, as very few people would want to deal with a 3 year old who has issues. i know you are trying your best to be helpful to your husband, you are a wonderful woman for trying so hard.

as far as your mother goes, stop going to her for advice. obviously, she is going to be contrary to everything you do or say. isn't there another older woman in your life that you can talk to? once mom realizes that you aren't sharing anymore, she will ask. then is the time you can tell her that she hasn't been helpful, as no matter what you do or say, she finds fault in it.

good luck my dear, and please remember that this isn't going to last forever. i wish you peace:)

oh no i lost my SD card

You maybe suffering from a combination of stress and post-partum depression or baby blues. It's totally normal, but you may need to seek help. It doesn't mean that you've done anything wrong, just that you're overwhelmed.

Part of this is me answering your question and the other part is me venting! You are not weird or wrong for feeling the way you feel. I too have a stepchild, she is 5 years old and every time she comes around there is drama. If someone is constantly the subject of drama or is always causing problems in your life, it's natural to feel a certain way about them. All I can say is sty prayerful (if you have a spiritual belief) and get counseling to help you cope with dealing with it. I am getting counseling for dealilng with my step daughter, (whom I have a SERIOUS dslike for) and it has helped me tremendously. Just being able to get it out does wonders and you won't feel so on edge. I hope this can kinda help! From one stepmom to another, I am praying for you!

Ahh this is sad. And complicated. It sounds like you're kindof depressed, which is totally normal when taking care of two kids under the age of five, particularly if you are worried about making mistakes because of social services (or the SS as I call them, which isn't far from the truth). Kids of her age are difficult, and I think you're confusing being frustrated and stressed by her with not loving her any more. Your post actually gives the impression of great love and care, it just seems like you need a little more help dealing with the kids. Does your partner get involved at all? Do you have access to daycare, or a babysitter? Do you have access to adult conversation (immensely important if youre stuck in the house all day with kids)? Don't feel guilty, and don't worry, because you sound like a great mum. Just try and work out with family or a baby sitter to take the kids off your hands a few times a week, and I swear you will feel much better.

Maybe you're just to stressed to feel the good part of being a mum to her, you must still care about her if you're still looking after her, and going through all that social services stuff. You also said you we're worried that if you weren't there, there wouldn't be anyone to look after both of them, not just your own kid. Proof you care... I think you just can't see how much you care because you're doing all this stuff for her (which you probably wouldn't do if you didn't care about her)

Wow!!these people are assholes!!I agree with imsokarude.i would just get evaluated by a doctor and maybe get on some anti-depressants and seek family counciling.that's the only thing that seems reasonable.good luck!hope it gets better for ya :)

I think you're feeling overwhelmed, which is entirely normal for new mothers, and you've got 3 year old and a new baby! Very stressful. I still voted no, solely for your health aspect though, I think you should get the suicidal thoughts checked out. and as for your mother... polite civil and distant. you don't need the extra stress, girl!

you are one complicated hot mess. and kinda crazy too.

Well, I can understand feeling stressed out and disliking a kid for a while during a certain time, but actually "hate"? Considering she's only 3 years old, you really are being very self-centered to "hate" her. It seems to me like you're doing all that work to justify the fact that you hate an innocent three-year-old girl. It sounds to me like you need some therapy to work out your issues.
Good luck with everything. You sound really stressed.