I'm very unsocial

79% Normal
7 Comments

Well this will be quite long... One month ago, I realized that I'm very unsocial. I don't go out, I haven't had a girlfriend (I am 18) and I think that I'm unnecessary. The truth this, that at school I'm quite popular, nobody has a problem with me, I pass with best grades, and everybody thinks that I'm funny guy. Girls are telling me, that I'm very good-looking guy, and that I should hang out to partys and clubs.

When I was 11, I have been diagnosed with epilepsy. Actually I havent had some serius seizure, I just frooze and i didn't know where I am for couple of seconds. I'm taking anti-epileptic pills, so I haven't had seizure for almost 7 years. Now the downside... because of those pills, I can't drink alcohol. And you know, when you're on highschool everything is about alcohol,weed and such things. Now, I'm afraid to accept invitations to partys or other events, where could be alcohol. But I think, that even if I could drink, I wouldn't do that. When I look, at my friends facebook profiles, I see lot of "drunk pictures" - When I see this, I feel fear or something... dunno.

When I imagine, that I would be at the party, it seems weird to me. Like... it's not me... this is not the way how I should have fun.

Maybe, what I need is courage. My voice starts to jiggle when I have to talk with stranger, but I've got no problem to talk in front of full class, to give an presentation.

Last year, I fell in love with my classmate. She's hottest and cutest girl on school, also very intelligent. When I started to talk with her more, I have realised, that she's very close to me. We've got same interests, same opinions, we know how to make each others laugh. When we were on school trip, we were holding each others hands, hugging, and cuddling in bus (you know :D) That time, she didn't know that I love her. I told her that just month ago. But she told me, that she likes me very, very much... but as a friend. But my feelings are deeper, I truly love her. We had really deep friend relantioship, and I though that It could grow up in something more. It's really hard to get over It, because she is unbelievably beautiful, very intelligent, modest and best of all... she is not a party b**ch, and she's not drinking too. I think, that we could have a beautiful partner relantioship.

When I think about it, she could change my life, she could make me more confident. I spent these summer holidays in my room, in front of PC, watching youtube, and declining every single invitation to some event.

To sum it up:
I'm fearful, not confident, not outgoing, I'm afraid to talk with strangers, I'm afraid to go out at night, I'm afraid to drink and I'm in love, that could never happen.

So is it normal, to be such a coward?

(Sry 4 my english, I'm from Europe)

Voting Results
79% Normal
Based on 62 votes (49 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • jameskkile
    12 years ago

    i understand what ur going through, and its tough. being unsoical in a world that pressuares u to be a party person. but the main thing u have to know is, u r the way u r. just because u dont like going all out at parties doesnt make u a freak. u arnt that kind of person. in my mind being a party person isnt that great.

    trust me im going through the same thing

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  • Wesker12
    12 years ago

    You r better than me!

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  • kesdog
    12 years ago

    you need to google a support group and contact them and you will feel better about yourself because you are not alone

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Aw thats cute! You sound nice. And a lot like me.

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  • oxenstierna
    13 years ago

    I'd just like to mention that risking a potentially fatal seizure by not taking the medication just to get drunk is a little careless in my opinion. Alcohol in itself is also a trigger for seizures (even in people with no history of epilepsy).

    But then again I've no idea what kind of medication the poster is using, if its a benzodiazepine of some kind (clonazepam is quite common) it's quite safe with SMALL amounts of alcohol. It potentiates the sedating properties of ethanol so again, SMALL amounts of alcohol is fairly safe with this particular kind of medication. Although I wouldn't recommend it.

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  • Crazydiamond
    14 years ago

    What do you mean 'Sry 4 my english, I'm from Europe'? That was where the language originated ffs...

    I'll assume you mean mainland Europe. Anyhoo this could've been two separate posts really. The thing with the pills and no alcohol sounds like a bit of a bitch, I assume there's no way round that, like not taking them if you know you're going to drink?

    As for the girl, I'd suggest you stick in there and keep plugging away. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be, if not...

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  • holio
    14 years ago

    I've been through everything you describe. Let me save you years of hard lessons. First, starting today, never turn down an invitation. No excuses. Also, remember that friends are people you've done things with in at least three different contexts, like hang out at school, at your house, and go out to a party together. Less than that and they're acquaintances. Knowing that, go make friends.

    Go to parties and don't drink. It's cool if you're cool with it. If someone asks why you aren't drinking, confidently tell them it's because you don't like to. They won't care. Instead, smile and make others smile and laugh. Have fun helping others have fun and you'll be the life of the party, no alcohol needed.

    As for the girl, there is no escaping the friend-zone once you're there. The lesson here is to interact with girls you're attracted to as if there is no possibility of being just friends. Be clear about what your intentions are and always be prepared to walk away.

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