I step off the bus and my eyes adjust to the dingy abyss that lay before me. The cobblestone glimmers in the dim red light of the strip clubs and bars covered in putrid grime; the ominous grey-red color of the sky alone was enough to make a man want to vomit. But I knew I had to be here, for now. Buried beneath the deafening scurry of rats, a raspy voice shrieks, "last stop: Kansas City.
Welcome to hell."
I light up a cigarette and hurry to the nearest motel. Don't want to be caught outside for too long in a place like this. Trouble follows you around here, especially if you're the kind of guy that likes to charm the devil. I walk into the motel and I'm greeted with a skeletal man with sunken eyes, the image of death itself - I'd have thought he was dead if it wasn't for the smile that came across his face as I approached the desk. I'd rather see a corpse than that smile. He hands me a key without a word; I drop a twenty on the desk and he slowly nods. "Room six", he whispers.
The room is missing patches of floorboard and the sink spits sewage, but it'll do. Tomorrow's a long enough day without having to worry about the plumbing.
I'm starting to realize that I don't fit in at my new school.
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If you want to move up to a B- or so, try this:
I step off the bus and my eyes adjust to the dingy abyss that lay before me. The cobblestone glimmers in the dim red light of the strip clubs and bars covered in putrid grime; the ominous grey-red color of the sky alone was enough to make a man want to vomit. But I knew I had to be here, for now. Buried beneath the deafening scurry of rats, a raspy voice shrieks, "last stop: Kansas City.
Welcome to hell."
I light up a cigarette and hurry to the nearest motel. Don't want to be caught outside for too long in a place like this. Trouble follows you around here, especially if you're the kind of guy that likes to charm the devil. I walk into the motel and I'm greeted with a skeletal man with sunken eyes, the image of death itself - I'd have thought he was dead if it wasn't for the smile that came across his face as I approached the desk. I'd rather see a corpse than that smile. He hands me a key without a word; I drop a twenty on the desk and he slowly nods. "Room six", he whispers.
The room is missing patches of floorboard and the sink spits sewage, but it'll do. Tomorrow's a long enough day without having to worry about the plumbing.
END CHAPTER ONE
--
Collumi
11 years ago
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Nice work. I'd read your novel.