I'm so confused about my faith?

You've pretty much hit on the whole principle of the Catholic church; guilt! Guilt is like a rocking horse; lots of action but you don't get anywhere.
Nobody is perfect so they instill this guilt thing as a control mechanism and ruin the lives of most of the faithful. It's all out dated and unrealistic in this day and age.
Live your life by a set of rules that make sense to you and forget all that bullshit the hypocrites at your church fed you. I sincerely wish you luck ridding yourself of the brainwashing you have been given.