I think that sometimes women (or men for that matter) tend to give the ex too much credit. I mean, the bottom line is that you're either insecure in your relationship or you're insecure of yourself, probably a little of both.
First you need to really see them for what/who they REALLY are. They're human just like everyone else, and I think we tend to over-glamorize those who we're insecure about, jealous of, etc... We don't point point out or even acknowledge their flaws and we imagine things between our current bf/gf and their ex way better than they actually were. I mean, there's a reason they're the ex, but jealousy doesn't rationalize.
I believe that for the most part, when we progress in age as well as our relationship, we start to feel less threatened by their past. From his ex's reaction to your relationship I'm gathering that he could probably be with her if he wanted to pursue her...even if it's just a game for her (which it often is...she's obviously jealous too!) but he CHOOSES to stay with you and from what I've read, seems to be more patient than most ppl would be.
Start working on your self esteem first. You can't give someone 100% , you can't love them with all you have...if you don't love yourself; flaws and all!! :-)
I don't want this to come off as judgement all, but as constructive criticism because you obviously realize that at times you're being irrational and it can't continue without causing major issues in your relationship, if it hasn't already.
A man that patient, that reassuring, that comforting....that's a man that loves you very much and you need to do all you can to keep him, because there are plenty of women (and men) who would jump at the chance to score a bf like that!!
Whatever it is about yourself that has you so insecure, fix it. It won't happen overnight and it's definitely not an easy process, but it's not impossible. I'd start with what's on the inside (that's really what counts the most. Or should be anyway) meditation, positive thinking, practice being more mindful, more "present"...you know better than anyone which traits you need to improve and the same goes for the physical aspect as well. Get a gym membership (maybe go together) and set goals then attain them one by one, anything that helps bring you closer...also I'd make sure to show him your appreciation of his loyalty and patience. Maybe make his favorite dinner one evening or go to his favorite restaurant and make sure he knows that the night is all about him. Let him know where you stand, admit to him that you know you're thinking irrationally and you're working on it and need his help.
I'm far from an expert on relationships or anything else I've written in this book of a comment, but I do believe that you can get past this if you really give it your all, and remember...she puts her pants on one paw at a time
I'm obessesed with and super jealous of my boyfriend's ex
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I think that sometimes women (or men for that matter) tend to give the ex too much credit. I mean, the bottom line is that you're either insecure in your relationship or you're insecure of yourself, probably a little of both.
First you need to really see them for what/who they REALLY are. They're human just like everyone else, and I think we tend to over-glamorize those who we're insecure about, jealous of, etc... We don't point point out or even acknowledge their flaws and we imagine things between our current bf/gf and their ex way better than they actually were. I mean, there's a reason they're the ex, but jealousy doesn't rationalize.
I believe that for the most part, when we progress in age as well as our relationship, we start to feel less threatened by their past. From his ex's reaction to your relationship I'm gathering that he could probably be with her if he wanted to pursue her...even if it's just a game for her (which it often is...she's obviously jealous too!) but he CHOOSES to stay with you and from what I've read, seems to be more patient than most ppl would be.
Start working on your self esteem first. You can't give someone 100% , you can't love them with all you have...if you don't love yourself; flaws and all!! :-)
I don't want this to come off as judgement all, but as constructive criticism because you obviously realize that at times you're being irrational and it can't continue without causing major issues in your relationship, if it hasn't already.
A man that patient, that reassuring, that comforting....that's a man that loves you very much and you need to do all you can to keep him, because there are plenty of women (and men) who would jump at the chance to score a bf like that!!
Whatever it is about yourself that has you so insecure, fix it. It won't happen overnight and it's definitely not an easy process, but it's not impossible. I'd start with what's on the inside (that's really what counts the most. Or should be anyway) meditation, positive thinking, practice being more mindful, more "present"...you know better than anyone which traits you need to improve and the same goes for the physical aspect as well. Get a gym membership (maybe go together) and set goals then attain them one by one, anything that helps bring you closer...also I'd make sure to show him your appreciation of his loyalty and patience. Maybe make his favorite dinner one evening or go to his favorite restaurant and make sure he knows that the night is all about him. Let him know where you stand, admit to him that you know you're thinking irrationally and you're working on it and need his help.
I'm far from an expert on relationships or anything else I've written in this book of a comment, but I do believe that you can get past this if you really give it your all, and remember...she puts her pants on one paw at a time