I'm not sure how i should feel about my friend

I had a friend for 2 years that became a crush. Eventually stuff became one sided since I would listen to her problems but would leave me hanging when it was mine. It just became a text friendship and nothing else without pulling teeth. I don't want to beg to just hangout. I can understand if her being distant was because of my feelings for her but that's just assume. It felt one sided so I cut her off and to save myself mentally. Joe (another friend) reached out to crush so we can be friends again. I never asked Joe to do that. I did talk to crush again but soon stopped being friends again with crush since I didn't feel right about it and I still had feelings. One day I call Joe sometime at night since I was having a rough day. Joe is a really close friend and we would call every other day. It ended up being crush's voice on the phone with Joe. I was put off and Joe said goodnight. A couple days later Joe actually called me back and I got pissed since he waited to do so. He said he thought he could make both of me and crush friends again and that crush only had positives to say about me. I told him I don't appreciate him doing that since it played with my feelings and if crush actually wanted to talk she would reach out. I don't want Joe messing with my friendships. I already have a hard time missing my 2 year friendship with crush and I hate that I have feelings for her. I take it more personally since I thought we were close. I say that I'm fine with him hanging out with her but it felt awful when I was just put on a phone call with her unexpectedly by Joe. Recently I called again and he is hanging out with crush. I don't like how this is weighing on me. I just want to move on from crush but it's bringing it back.

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  • Joe is trying to be helpful but is being misguided. All I can really think of doing is literally sitting down with him, explaining to him in full how this makes you feel and that you want to preserve your friendship with him. He needs to fully understand this is not something you want and is potentially damaging his friendship with you.

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  • you dodged a bullet

    you coulda got involved with crush and then had this shit happen

    write off crush and maybe shell pull the same shit on joe then you can be friends again

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  • classic masturbator. all you think about is your sexual desires instead of your actual friends. but yeah i would do the same thats embarassing

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    • Did you read the same post I did? He had romantic feelings for a friend, she didn't return them and was being distant so he tried to cut her off for his own emotional well-being, then his friend keeps trying to make him friends with this girl again and that's not what he wants.

      Not everything is overtly sexual even if it is romantic in nature.

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    • I appreciate your perspective but I don't see it that way. Maybe I could have worded the rant better. I tried making it work to be friends but I was putting in more effort in the end and she was more distant. It hurts when a close friend only cares to text. I think the whole feelings for her made me take it more personally. Sometimes I felt like I was only there as a therapist sometimes rather than a friend. I gave up one sided bullshit. I'm pissed at Joe since he put me on the spot trying to be friends with crush but I was trying to move on from crush. He knows I have feelings and other stuff so it played with my emotions

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      • Don't listen to the incel what you feel is normal. It's also really disrespectful for your so called friend to call you with her unexpectedly when he knows u had a crush on her and he is hanging with her. It's almost like he is cucking you or something. Hopefully it's not that and he's just an idiot. But what you feel is normal. I had a girl who lead me on in high school like that it's not fun.

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      • This person is being a jerk. You explained yourself well, I completely understand what you meant.

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