If it is just sex, ask permission from your wife. If you are lucky, she'll join you and your girlfriend. If she says no, then tell her you won't if she has sex with you so much that you don't have the energy left. And when she doesn't do that, you have your case. Say, Look, I love you. You are my best friend. I don't want to be married to anyone else. I just need sex more often than you are interested in, and I would rather have sex on the side without an emotional attachment than to break up.
What constraints will she have for you? Let her set those, then you should abide by them. My wife's rules are: 1. Don't catch anything. 2. None of her friends. 3. Don't get caught (by her friends) 4. She doesn't want to know about it. 5. If I give the girlfriend a gift, I have to give her something twice as expensive. 6. No one over 30 years old.
The only rule I've kind of broken is #4. I told her I slept with a particular celebrity that we had been talking openly about beforehand, but she doesn't believe it and I am not going to push it. She was kind of drunk one time (very rare), jumped on top of me while I was sleeping and demanded to know, "Did you really f*&^ ____?" I just laughed, then she proceeded to have her way with me.
Her reasoning is logical. She wants to feel she is secure with no chance of divorce, and she doesn't want me to embarrass her. As long as she is in the first position, and the girlfriend does not threaten that position, she is ok. I still have to have sex with her whenever she wants.
I'm not cheating if I don't get caught. Am I?
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If it is just sex, ask permission from your wife. If you are lucky, she'll join you and your girlfriend. If she says no, then tell her you won't if she has sex with you so much that you don't have the energy left. And when she doesn't do that, you have your case. Say, Look, I love you. You are my best friend. I don't want to be married to anyone else. I just need sex more often than you are interested in, and I would rather have sex on the side without an emotional attachment than to break up.
What constraints will she have for you? Let her set those, then you should abide by them. My wife's rules are: 1. Don't catch anything. 2. None of her friends. 3. Don't get caught (by her friends) 4. She doesn't want to know about it. 5. If I give the girlfriend a gift, I have to give her something twice as expensive. 6. No one over 30 years old.
The only rule I've kind of broken is #4. I told her I slept with a particular celebrity that we had been talking openly about beforehand, but she doesn't believe it and I am not going to push it. She was kind of drunk one time (very rare), jumped on top of me while I was sleeping and demanded to know, "Did you really f*&^ ____?" I just laughed, then she proceeded to have her way with me.
Her reasoning is logical. She wants to feel she is secure with no chance of divorce, and she doesn't want me to embarrass her. As long as she is in the first position, and the girlfriend does not threaten that position, she is ok. I still have to have sex with her whenever she wants.
My girlfriend is 20. I'm 45+. It works great.