It is kind of a sticking point with people and I understand that. I wish I could just be fine calling someone whatever but I just goes to against what I know. I haven't met any trans people in real life and maybe I could get used to it if I knew them for a while but there is no way to say for sure. I still don't really understand why its so important to be called what you identify as but just from the outside looking in I see that as something I will never understand. I appreciate you being reasonable either way tho.
So more of the fact that knowing about it gets in the way more than it is about hate?
Wanting to be called by female pronouns, for male-to-female, it is just kind of a validation. Being called "He" just feels icky.
Well, let me explain it in a language that you and I can relate -
You are a weight trainer and I once was. You and I have both had this chat with others in our lives -
Them - Hey you lift?
Us - Yeah (feeling proud and quietly flexing)
Them - How much you bench?
Us - (whatever max or 10 rep weight or whatever)
Them - That is pretty good but, I know this one guy who does twice that just warming up...
And they go on to say how this guy they know is also a 7th degree black belt in Fu man choo kung fu or Too wong fu or whatever.
Then there is that feeling of "Oh well thanks a lot, shit head." Like they just HAVE to discredit you.
Well, that is kind of how us TG feel about being misgendered. Of course, for the "one up" analogy, I have actually had people ask questions about my transgenderness and at some point say, "I knew this one TG but with her, you could never tell she used to be a man".
Like, OHHHH... well thank you, you condescending asshole".
Thats an interesting example haha. It still doesn't totally make sense but I'm trying. When conversations like that happen you do kinda get that "why did you have to bring that up" feeling but my ego is not damaged by shit like that like it used to be.
I'm fine with already-trans people, but not people I know "coming out"?
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It is kind of a sticking point with people and I understand that. I wish I could just be fine calling someone whatever but I just goes to against what I know. I haven't met any trans people in real life and maybe I could get used to it if I knew them for a while but there is no way to say for sure. I still don't really understand why its so important to be called what you identify as but just from the outside looking in I see that as something I will never understand. I appreciate you being reasonable either way tho.
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leggs91200
4 years ago
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So more of the fact that knowing about it gets in the way more than it is about hate?
Wanting to be called by female pronouns, for male-to-female, it is just kind of a validation. Being called "He" just feels icky.
Well, let me explain it in a language that you and I can relate -
You are a weight trainer and I once was. You and I have both had this chat with others in our lives -
Them - Hey you lift?
Us - Yeah (feeling proud and quietly flexing)
Them - How much you bench?
Us - (whatever max or 10 rep weight or whatever)
Them - That is pretty good but, I know this one guy who does twice that just warming up...
And they go on to say how this guy they know is also a 7th degree black belt in Fu man choo kung fu or Too wong fu or whatever.
Then there is that feeling of "Oh well thanks a lot, shit head." Like they just HAVE to discredit you.
Well, that is kind of how us TG feel about being misgendered. Of course, for the "one up" analogy, I have actually had people ask questions about my transgenderness and at some point say, "I knew this one TG but with her, you could never tell she used to be a man".
Like, OHHHH... well thank you, you condescending asshole".
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Doesnormalmatter
4 years ago
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Thats an interesting example haha. It still doesn't totally make sense but I'm trying. When conversations like that happen you do kinda get that "why did you have to bring that up" feeling but my ego is not damaged by shit like that like it used to be.